Posts Tagged ‘priority’

What Do You REALLY Know?

Posted: July 1, 2011 in Mama Says Namaste
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>The other evening I was chatting with my best girl friend about our lives, and a revelation hit me. As a woman, especially, I can get so stuck on preparing for the future and what I am supposed to do that I can miss the major point of it all. When I was younger, I looked at what I wanted to do with my life, what degree I was going to get, who I was going to marry, if I was going to marry, etc.

I got older, went to school learning about subjects I loved, married and had children. Now it’s not just about what I am going to do, but what does the future look like for my children. I spend my days preparing:

  • I prepare/plan for at least 3 meals every day – if you add snacks in, half my day is just in planning meals! (okay, truth by told, I’m somewhat lying here. My husband happens to be an incredible cook and oftentimes it’s him preparing and cooking. However, that doesn’t help my point here. Which I’ll get to, eventually)
  • I clean the house to prepare for guests and to put myself at ease. (let’s face it – I’m a clean freak. But it makes me feel good to know that 90% of the time I can have drop-in company come over and I’m not focusing on how filthy my house is)
  • I work from home and a key focus is on product/web development. I have to think about everything we do and how it affects the future of the business.
  • I get myself cleaned up and ready for every day – I prep myself for what the day will bring.

I could go on and on about all the many things we all do to prepare for the future. Sometimes, however, the stress of not being able to anticipate the plan dominates your ability to take on the plan. Imagine packing for a trip and having no idea whether you need evening wear or hiking boots and a sweater. This, however, is sometimes how life goes…because, overall, we don’t know what the weather is going to be.

For example, the wife of an entrepreneur. A beginning entrepreneur oftentimes lives a “feast or famine” lifestyle. All businesses have their ups and downs, and when you’re calling all the shots, the downs tend to affect you in a personal way. It can be scary to not know how the future is going to play out, and I see many stay-at-home moms who are in this supportive role, yet are terrified of how the plan will play out. They stress over all the little plans of life because they are uncertain the “big plan” of the business will thrive. They crave to be able to dot their i’s and be the “hostess with the mostess” who has things under control.

Sometimes, when you’re not calling the shots in one area you feel is vital (i.e. family breadwinner) you seek to control as many other areas as possible. It gets difficult if your partner is unable to give you a play-by-play of how life is going to go!

So how do you cope? How do I cope, not being 100% on our business ventures and whether it will guarantee me the income I’d like this year? I’ll tell you what – focus on who you are vs. what your plan is. Like most of you know, 48 Days focuses on the fact that 85% of the process of finding the work you love is by looking inward. Think about this – why the focus on yourself?

The more you understand who you are, the better you are able to manage life in general. You identify your strengths, you get resources for your weaknesses. You know what is most important, and you focus on those in times of uncertainty.

I don’t know if my girls will turn on me in their teenage years. But I do know beyond a shadow of a doubt that they feel my love for them, and that they know every single day that I will listen to what they have to say.

I don’t know if working in a family business will be the best venture for my whole life. But I do know that no matter how much I love my work, family comes first, and if that is ever challenged by working together, I will find a new job.

I don’t know if my husband will be in as perfect health in his 70s as he is right now. But I do know that he is my absolute best friend and I will be by his side regardless of physical circumstance.

I don’t know if we’ll be in the same house/city/lifestyle five years from now. But I do know that no matter where I am, I’m with the people that matter most to me, and I wouldn’t trade that for the world.

We don’t know every curve in the road of our lives, so of course, we need to figure out how to also enjoy the journey. My challenge to you is to remember who you are. Remember what is important, and rely on that – you are beautiful. You are happy. You are relishing the moment as it is. You are wonderful, radiant you. Take life by the horns and ride on, knowing that no matter what life brings, you’ll be giving it your best self.

What is your best attribute that helps you embrace life?

Embrace the Moment

Posted: June 22, 2011 in Mama Says Namaste
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This past week I went to Roan Mountain North Carolina. Staying in a little cabin in the mountains, we had no phones, no computers, no TV, not even (gasp) music playing!! (That’s a biggie for me).

However, what we had was every single moment. It’s amazing how much time passes by sitting in front of the computer or TV. When you take it all away, you have the opportunity to see every moment. Our family needed a break from it all, to just enjoy ourselves and each other. Because, ultimately, family is what it’s all about.

Hiking up in the mountains we saw incredible views and it got me thinking about how often we are looking out to the future. I’m an advocate for positive thinking, intentionally striving to become the person you want to be, and moving toward lifelong goals.

However, don’t miss the little things. Don’t pass up the opportunity to smell the flowers, as cliche as it may sound.

Don’t miss the moment to get close with those you care about. Stoop down to see the world through your child’s eyes. Follow along with their imagination and see where it takes you. Embrace the moment.

And above all, remember that these are just moments. When they are bad (and we all have bad moments), remember that – it’s a moment. It’s fleeting. A negative thing does not have to become your identity. A moment in time is a moment to take what is and look to make it good. When it’s bad, acknowledge it and let it go.

When the moment is good, stop everything and soak it in. Truly let it engulf you. Open your heart, mind, and body to the sweetness of the now, whether it’s admiring the beauty around you, a loving embrace by someone you care about, or a moment in play with a child. This, to me, is the most important part of making those moments last.

What does the "Good Life" mean to you?

Posted: April 15, 2009 in Mama Says Namaste
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A few weeks ago, I was asked for an interview. Wow–now why would someone want to interview me? Kendra Tilman, founder of http://www.goodlifediva.com/ has come to know me because of 48 Days, and she’s read my blogs on the NET. She asked to interview me as a work-from-home mom…it was so much fun to do, and I was able to give great props to both 48 Days and KEZA. The name of her website is Good Life Diva, and their mission is this: Our purpose at Good Life is to help mothers match their calling and their careers and obtain a quality of life that meets their family’s personal needs. Mothers all over the world need support and role models in this area.

Wow–what an honor. It meant a lot that she asked me for an interview…and once again, as I sat there as a role model for other moms, I was reminded myself about how much I, too should always be open to learn and grow. It’s so much easier to give advice to others than it is to live it yourself! As I heard myself talking about how to manage working from home and prioritize your life, I was thinking in the back of my head “if only I could do this better!”
I can’t say my life is perfect. I certainly can’t say that working from home is for every mom, or that it’s even easy for me. I have hard days, and I have days where I desperately reach out for family or friends to help with Clara because I have too much work to do. I have other days where I simply have to put work aside and focus on my child and our home. But, when Kendra asked what what the “Good Life” was to me, I was happy to say “I’m living it!”
The “Good Life”, to me, doesn’t mean that every day is perfect, that I’m basking in sunshine, or that I’m rolling in dough. It doesn’t mean that my house is spotless and not a drop of yuckiness comes out of some orifice on Clara’s face. But it means that I’m really, really happy. When I look at the overall path my life has taken, I’m happy with where I am. I couldn’t ask for a better life–I’m in love with my husband and he loves me back, I have a daughter that needs to “hold” me and tells me “I give you hug and kiss” every day. I have a roof over my head, and warm bed at night, and peace in my heart. I have a supportive family–both through blood and through marriage–that is involved in my life and in my daughter’s life. I’m blessed beyond measure in the things that stay close to my heart.

The weather changes, income levels may come and go, health is sometimes good, sometime not. I get stressed, tired, cranky and upset. So does my husband, and so does our daughter. But overall, we have love. And being in the present moment–embracing our good times, and knowing our trials will always pass–it makes me relish this good life I get to call mine.
Please take a moment to watch the interview, and please comment with what insights you may have for me and/or for others!
The interview is broken into two 10 minute segments–hope you can watch it!
Here is straight from her newsletter:
Hello, Good Life DIVAS! My interview with Ashley Logsdon of 48 Days.com is now online! As a WAHM (work at home mom) she understands the demands of having both a career and a family. In addition to discussing her family and work life, she also talks about an amazing organization she volunteers with that is impacting the lives of mothers in Rwanda. Watch her interview. I guarantee it will be worth your time. I know you know other women who could use the resources we provide on our site. SHARE them with all the mothers in your life who are or want to live the Good Life!