Posts Tagged ‘power of now’

Embrace the Moment

Posted: June 22, 2011 in Mama Says Namaste
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This past week I went to Roan Mountain North Carolina. Staying in a little cabin in the mountains, we had no phones, no computers, no TV, not even (gasp) music playing!! (That’s a biggie for me).

However, what we had was every single moment. It’s amazing how much time passes by sitting in front of the computer or TV. When you take it all away, you have the opportunity to see every moment. Our family needed a break from it all, to just enjoy ourselves and each other. Because, ultimately, family is what it’s all about.

Hiking up in the mountains we saw incredible views and it got me thinking about how often we are looking out to the future. I’m an advocate for positive thinking, intentionally striving to become the person you want to be, and moving toward lifelong goals.

However, don’t miss the little things. Don’t pass up the opportunity to smell the flowers, as cliche as it may sound.

Don’t miss the moment to get close with those you care about. Stoop down to see the world through your child’s eyes. Follow along with their imagination and see where it takes you. Embrace the moment.

And above all, remember that these are just moments. When they are bad (and we all have bad moments), remember that – it’s a moment. It’s fleeting. A negative thing does not have to become your identity. A moment in time is a moment to take what is and look to make it good. When it’s bad, acknowledge it and let it go.

When the moment is good, stop everything and soak it in. Truly let it engulf you. Open your heart, mind, and body to the sweetness of the now, whether it’s admiring the beauty around you, a loving embrace by someone you care about, or a moment in play with a child. This, to me, is the most important part of making those moments last.

Believe in Yourself, Ladies!

Posted: May 30, 2011 in Mama Says Namaste
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“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”  ~Marianne Clements

Question 1:   Do you believe in yourself?  (Like really BELIEVE in yourself?)

Yep, I do.  I believe I have power.  So much power, that if I don’t purposefully use it for good, it automatically will have a negative effect on the world.  It’s a scary thought.  Think about the nay-sayers, the woe-is-me-ers (yep, it’s a new word), the doubters…and think about how much, when you are uncertain, these people have the power to control you. To bring you to their level.
When you are unsure, your mind can be crippled with fear.  You are afraid of an answer you don’t want, and your mind subconsciously goes to whatever negative thought it is, and all of a sudden, one seemingly innocent comment of “we don’t need that dessert” becomes a hard blow to your low self-esteem and what you heard was “good lord, you have enough fat on those hips to live off of for a while.”  Man, that’s all in your head, however one sentence from another catapulted it to become your reality.  Make sense? 

They(everyone else) apparently has the power to bash your self confidence.  You have the power to hang on to that to a point that it rips you up inside.  I’m not just talking about looks here, I’m talking about everything.  I’m talking about the fact that whatever I believe will become my reality.
We’re women.  What is the first thing we stop believing?

I’m beautiful.

When was the last time you told yourself that?  That old saying that “love is blind?”  Sometimes we forget that we can decide to love ourselves every day…to carry over that “love is blind” mentality not just to our significant others, but to ourselves.  Reverse roles. For all you mothers out there with stretchy skin that resembles something closer to jello than the majestic muscles that are just begging to break through the surface…right?

Imagine your beloved husband carrying the weight of each precious developing child – imagine his body being stretched out and sagging…all due to the strains of creating a child formed by your love. Would you look at him critically? When he tries his best but that six-pack is a little more like a one pack…what is most important? I know guys are the visual creatures, but I tell you, to negate your husband’s love for you just as you are can be a blow to him. And my thoughts are that you would kiss every spot on his imperfect body and tell him what you love most. I’m saying this all for me, as I’ve been running and running, trying to regain my twenty-year-old body that is fading into a thirty-year-old body, and cringing when I look in the mirror and those last few pounds seem to be glaring at me. I’m not getting in a bikini for a long time. But my husband loves me and all my imperfections. They may be my “war wounds” from childbearing, and I will continually work on it, but I have more important things to obsess over-like enjoying the moments when I am the object of my number one love’s desire-he’s looking at all that is ME, not the tiny bits of my imperfection. I can’t point out any imperfection in what I see in him, so why am I obsessing over him doing anything less for me?

Question 2:  Why? (or Why not)
You see, I’m a mom now.  The years in high school and college where I tested my “power” by controlling what I ate, being awful to my body, neglecting my heart and running to the opposite sex to give me validation…this is all in the past.  Because now I have two beautiful girls looking at me. This is a biggie-my children. They are too young now to be swept up in the objectifying culture. I know no matter how I fight it, they’ll get hit with it at some point in their lives. But I’ll be damned if they are going to get a negative self image in our home! They are looking at me and watching me-they watch me get dressed, put on makeup, do my hair…they sense stress, frustration, and they want to mirror it. From the day my oldest followed me in the bathroom and asked to wear makeup, we started talking about what really makes people beautiful. On Easter Sunday we were in the car and she was playing with her pretend makeup she got as a birthday gift, and she was wiping it on her face. I asked her what she was doing and she said “washing it off.” I asked what makes her beautiful and she looked at me, smiled, and said “my heart.”

Your children are watching you and copying you-they are looking to you for what is important, and to see what confidence is. I want my girls to be proud of their bodies-to work to make themselves beautiful from the inside out-no matter how hard you push exercise, fix your makeup and hair and wear sexy clothes, what radiates most is what is beneath the surface-love and RESPECT for the child of God that you are and confidence that God embraces every imperfection in you so you can walk proud and honor your Creator…this is what I want my girls to see. Dressing up needs to be fun, not agonizing and a testament to my identity.

I used the focus of beauty for this…I could go off on a soapbox about smarts, about compassion, about significance…but I just so happened to have just recently gone off on a soapbox about this in a blog where a wonderful lady lamented over her ugly body and why she would never be what she used to be.

Power. 
Believing in yourself. 

The quote above…where you limit your power, you hold back and you hesitate.  You question your inadequacies and you are afraid every impact from the world is a tribute to how little you are.  But you aren’t.

“You are powerful beyond measure.” 

You are the first step in changing the world.  If you don’t believe in you, how can anyone else?  If you want to change the world, you have to start within.  You must “be the change you wish to see in the world” (Ghandi).  You have to have faith that you do have the power.  You are significant.  And one person has the power of the ripple effect to impact the world.  And you are that one person.

“When I was young and free and my imagination had no limits I dreamed of changing the world. As I grew older and wiser I discovered the world would not change, so I shortened my sights somewhat and decided to change only my country. Bu it too seemed immovable. As I grew into my twilight years, in one last desperate attempt, I settled for changing only my family, those closest to me. But alas they would have none of it. And now as I lie on my deathbed I suddenly realized: If I had only changed myself first, then by example I would have changed my family. From their inspiration and encouragement I would have been able to better my country and, who knows, maybe even change the world.”
Inscribed words on the tomb of an Anglican Bishop (1100 A.D) in Westminster Abbey

(and if you do believe in yourself and also want to get something pretty and girly just to bask in your awesomeness, my friend Rachel has a kickin’ etsy shop called LoveIsRisingthat has great finds, including pre-ordering some fun new shirts – proceeds go to help them adopt!)

We Believe…In living deeply, laughing often, and loving always.

Posted: January 27, 2011 in Mama Says Namaste
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Each week I want to address one line from our Family Creed.  The first line states “We believe in living deeply, laughing often, and loving always.”  The key element to me in this post is that second action–laughing often.  Laughter does so much more than just feel good on the inside.  It lifts any heaviness in the air, it allows you to reset your attitude, and it’s just plain fun to do.

When you live life full of passion–when you truly “live deeply”, you embrace the moment.  Back in college I read Eckhardt Tolle’s The Power of Now.  It talked about savoring the moment–truly living in the present and not wallowing in the past, or spending so much time focusing on the future that we forget about today.  It’s easy to do, especially with kids…you spend so much time planning…what to cook for dinner, where do kids need to go tomorrow, what work project is due next, what vacations are we going to do and what can we budget to handle next month, etc., etc.  Why is it that we only allow ourselves to live deeply and savor the moment when we’re on a scheduled vacation? What if we took a “mini vacation” every day…taking a moment to breathe deeply…and truly live deeply.

So, going back to laughing often.  If we are living deeply…with passion and gusto, if we allow ourselves to feel the present moment, we then have a choice.  How are those moments going to affect us?  When the kids are cranky, the bills are stacked up, and there are 300 emails to answer (maybe this is just me), how can we cope and actually enjoy ourselves?  It’s the old cliche- when life hands you lemons, make lemonade.  If you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em.  Whatever you want to say, the bottom line is, give a little.  Figure out how to make yourself laugh.  When I have the days where kids basically prevent me from accomplishing anything else, I figure “what the heck- let’s have some fun.”  And those are days I choose to laugh.  Often.  About anything.  Even if I have to force it at first, I need to let go and understand that some days you just have to let things slide.  Sometimes it’s not worth the battle.  Sometimes you have to remember that living deeply isn’t always about cramming everything into every moment…sometimes it’s about letting some stuff slide so you can truly enjoy the things that matter.  The things you love.  The people you love.  The people, that no matter what, you choose to love always.  So embrace them, both literally and figuratively.  Let go of the nit-picky details, order a pizza, laugh a lot, and go back to the family you love.  Always.

Are You Living Your Life As the Gift That It Is?

Posted: January 21, 2011 in Mama Says Namaste
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This video was so inspiring, I had to watch it twice to take it all in.  My sister-in-law, Teri, passed this on, and it was just what I needed at just the right moment for me to truly receive it.  Please watch this all the way through…it’s gorgeous, not to mention a great reminder of those precious, precious moments that slip away all too quickly:

What are those daily gifts in your life that give you that “ahhhhh……” feeling?

It’s in the Past!

Posted: January 17, 2009 in Mama Says Namaste
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During the umpteenth time this week that I have watched Lion King with my daughter, once again I am hit by a significant moment in the movie. I’ve pulled the poignant clip here:

Wow, what a true statement. How many times do we get hung up on the past–old hurts, fears, insecurities… It’s easy to say “get over it,” but every one of us knows that’s easier said then done. In dealing with various family situations through coaching, child care, and my own personal life, I’ve seen where generational struggles can eat up any peace in a home. It’s a hard balance to embrace the past as that significant part of who you are today, and also acknowledging that what is in the past doesn’t mean it has to be your future.

Actually, the more I think about it, the more ironic it is that we want to run from our past. When you watch a scary movie, what keeps you scared? It’s that image, running over and over in your mind. It sparks your imagination, it grows even bigger, and creates even more fear. What happens when you fear becoming like your father, or you fear rejection like you grew up with, or your mother’s condescending words ring in your ears? We want to block the image, we want to run, and what do we end up doing? Dwelling on it!

Going back to Earl Nightingale’s famous words, “You become what you think about.” It’s scary that our issues from the past–the fears and insecurities we run from–end up being the issues we can dwell on most. And unfortunately when we start dwelling, it’s easy to start becoming what we fear most.

What a downer. How wonderful that we have a choice in this! Not everyone has a bad childhood, and not everyone has deep family scars. But we all have made mistakes in our lives, and we all have things that we can look back on with more wisdom now…so, how will we deal with our past? How will we be in charge of the present, and of our future? Not by running, not by dwelling, but by how we learn from it. Embrace it for what it is: your past. It’s your story. It’s what has made you the person you are today, so be grateful that you are present. But remember that the past only stays a mistake, failure, or dark secret when you learn nothing from it. Learning doesn’t mean harboring anger and resentment, even though you may have every right to do that. Learning doesn’t mean you block off all emotion. Learning means you have to grow–you have to take what you can and move on for the better.

Remember that you are wisened now…although you cannot erase history, tomorrow is a mystery…more importantly, think of it as “mystory”…or “my story”. You get to write the future. You get to take the wisdom from your past lessons and create a beautiful future. So in the wise words of Rafiki, “you can either run from it, or learn from it. What are you going to do?”