Posts Tagged ‘positive thinking’

MamaRose Shares Her Story

Posted: July 12, 2011 in Family Life Learning, What does "Education" Look Like?
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Well, well, well.  One week into a new site and I get the opportunity to do an hour-long video interview with The Homeschool Netcast Network!  Oh so coincidentally, Gerald interviewed my father, Dan Miller, the week before, so he got the perspective of a “retired” homeschool dad, so his goal was to interview me as a homeschool-ee.  However, little did he know at the time that I was embarking on a whole new endeavor with this site!

Here is the video in its entirety.  I hope it sheds some light on where we came from and what the heck we’re thinking now.  I love that Gerald asked me some hard questions not only about how/why I want to teach my kids, but threw the words the naysayers are whispering about us not knowing what we’re doing.  I love it – questions and challenges?  BRING ‘EM ON! 

And yes, you get to see Papa Gray make his grand debut by crawling in at the side around 28 minutes in.  Yes, I said crawling. Seriously – you have to watch it.

Finally, check out the “Free Stuff” page on his site.  I haven’t made it to all the links yet, but it looks like I’ll have plenty of info to get started.  Let me know what you think!

Believe in Yourself, Ladies!

Posted: May 30, 2011 in Mama Says Namaste
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“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”  ~Marianne Clements

Question 1:   Do you believe in yourself?  (Like really BELIEVE in yourself?)

Yep, I do.  I believe I have power.  So much power, that if I don’t purposefully use it for good, it automatically will have a negative effect on the world.  It’s a scary thought.  Think about the nay-sayers, the woe-is-me-ers (yep, it’s a new word), the doubters…and think about how much, when you are uncertain, these people have the power to control you. To bring you to their level.
When you are unsure, your mind can be crippled with fear.  You are afraid of an answer you don’t want, and your mind subconsciously goes to whatever negative thought it is, and all of a sudden, one seemingly innocent comment of “we don’t need that dessert” becomes a hard blow to your low self-esteem and what you heard was “good lord, you have enough fat on those hips to live off of for a while.”  Man, that’s all in your head, however one sentence from another catapulted it to become your reality.  Make sense? 

They(everyone else) apparently has the power to bash your self confidence.  You have the power to hang on to that to a point that it rips you up inside.  I’m not just talking about looks here, I’m talking about everything.  I’m talking about the fact that whatever I believe will become my reality.
We’re women.  What is the first thing we stop believing?

I’m beautiful.

When was the last time you told yourself that?  That old saying that “love is blind?”  Sometimes we forget that we can decide to love ourselves every day…to carry over that “love is blind” mentality not just to our significant others, but to ourselves.  Reverse roles. For all you mothers out there with stretchy skin that resembles something closer to jello than the majestic muscles that are just begging to break through the surface…right?

Imagine your beloved husband carrying the weight of each precious developing child – imagine his body being stretched out and sagging…all due to the strains of creating a child formed by your love. Would you look at him critically? When he tries his best but that six-pack is a little more like a one pack…what is most important? I know guys are the visual creatures, but I tell you, to negate your husband’s love for you just as you are can be a blow to him. And my thoughts are that you would kiss every spot on his imperfect body and tell him what you love most. I’m saying this all for me, as I’ve been running and running, trying to regain my twenty-year-old body that is fading into a thirty-year-old body, and cringing when I look in the mirror and those last few pounds seem to be glaring at me. I’m not getting in a bikini for a long time. But my husband loves me and all my imperfections. They may be my “war wounds” from childbearing, and I will continually work on it, but I have more important things to obsess over-like enjoying the moments when I am the object of my number one love’s desire-he’s looking at all that is ME, not the tiny bits of my imperfection. I can’t point out any imperfection in what I see in him, so why am I obsessing over him doing anything less for me?

Question 2:  Why? (or Why not)
You see, I’m a mom now.  The years in high school and college where I tested my “power” by controlling what I ate, being awful to my body, neglecting my heart and running to the opposite sex to give me validation…this is all in the past.  Because now I have two beautiful girls looking at me. This is a biggie-my children. They are too young now to be swept up in the objectifying culture. I know no matter how I fight it, they’ll get hit with it at some point in their lives. But I’ll be damned if they are going to get a negative self image in our home! They are looking at me and watching me-they watch me get dressed, put on makeup, do my hair…they sense stress, frustration, and they want to mirror it. From the day my oldest followed me in the bathroom and asked to wear makeup, we started talking about what really makes people beautiful. On Easter Sunday we were in the car and she was playing with her pretend makeup she got as a birthday gift, and she was wiping it on her face. I asked her what she was doing and she said “washing it off.” I asked what makes her beautiful and she looked at me, smiled, and said “my heart.”

Your children are watching you and copying you-they are looking to you for what is important, and to see what confidence is. I want my girls to be proud of their bodies-to work to make themselves beautiful from the inside out-no matter how hard you push exercise, fix your makeup and hair and wear sexy clothes, what radiates most is what is beneath the surface-love and RESPECT for the child of God that you are and confidence that God embraces every imperfection in you so you can walk proud and honor your Creator…this is what I want my girls to see. Dressing up needs to be fun, not agonizing and a testament to my identity.

I used the focus of beauty for this…I could go off on a soapbox about smarts, about compassion, about significance…but I just so happened to have just recently gone off on a soapbox about this in a blog where a wonderful lady lamented over her ugly body and why she would never be what she used to be.

Power. 
Believing in yourself. 

The quote above…where you limit your power, you hold back and you hesitate.  You question your inadequacies and you are afraid every impact from the world is a tribute to how little you are.  But you aren’t.

“You are powerful beyond measure.” 

You are the first step in changing the world.  If you don’t believe in you, how can anyone else?  If you want to change the world, you have to start within.  You must “be the change you wish to see in the world” (Ghandi).  You have to have faith that you do have the power.  You are significant.  And one person has the power of the ripple effect to impact the world.  And you are that one person.

“When I was young and free and my imagination had no limits I dreamed of changing the world. As I grew older and wiser I discovered the world would not change, so I shortened my sights somewhat and decided to change only my country. Bu it too seemed immovable. As I grew into my twilight years, in one last desperate attempt, I settled for changing only my family, those closest to me. But alas they would have none of it. And now as I lie on my deathbed I suddenly realized: If I had only changed myself first, then by example I would have changed my family. From their inspiration and encouragement I would have been able to better my country and, who knows, maybe even change the world.”
Inscribed words on the tomb of an Anglican Bishop (1100 A.D) in Westminster Abbey

(and if you do believe in yourself and also want to get something pretty and girly just to bask in your awesomeness, my friend Rachel has a kickin’ etsy shop called LoveIsRisingthat has great finds, including pre-ordering some fun new shirts – proceeds go to help them adopt!)

Smile and MOVE!

Posted: September 30, 2010 in Mama Says Namaste
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Sam Parker does a great job of motivating others.  Actually, his mission in life is to do just that.  His company, Give More Media, focuses on fulfilling this “optimistically, truthfully, responsibly…”  He creates fun videos and books that inspire others.  One of my favorites is this one:

There are many, many more.  But wow–what is the underlying message in all of his motivation?  To me, it’s all about perspective.  Did you know we all live in the same world?  We all have various obstacles, tragedies, pitfalls and failures in life.  We may experience different circumstances, but every one of us can make the decision on how our circumstances will affect us.  We all have the same hours in every day.  And in a world of chaos, we will always have control over one thing: ourselves.

So how can we make a difference?  How can we make a positive impact in a negative world?  How can we really “smile and move?”  It starts inward.  To motivate others, look at yourself–what can motivate you?  What is there in your life today that gets you going–that plants that seed of positivity?  Is it your devotion time? Your kids? Your morning run?  How about those awful days where nothing seems right, and you look outside and see the storm clouds rolling in.  Wow, is it awful, or is it magnificent?  The fresh scent of rain, the rolling thunder, the restoration of all growing plants getting a fresh drink, the moment to just sit and soak it all in…

How about you?  What’s your perspective today? How can it incite a positive effect on your world?

It’s in the Past!

Posted: January 17, 2009 in Mama Says Namaste
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During the umpteenth time this week that I have watched Lion King with my daughter, once again I am hit by a significant moment in the movie. I’ve pulled the poignant clip here:

Wow, what a true statement. How many times do we get hung up on the past–old hurts, fears, insecurities… It’s easy to say “get over it,” but every one of us knows that’s easier said then done. In dealing with various family situations through coaching, child care, and my own personal life, I’ve seen where generational struggles can eat up any peace in a home. It’s a hard balance to embrace the past as that significant part of who you are today, and also acknowledging that what is in the past doesn’t mean it has to be your future.

Actually, the more I think about it, the more ironic it is that we want to run from our past. When you watch a scary movie, what keeps you scared? It’s that image, running over and over in your mind. It sparks your imagination, it grows even bigger, and creates even more fear. What happens when you fear becoming like your father, or you fear rejection like you grew up with, or your mother’s condescending words ring in your ears? We want to block the image, we want to run, and what do we end up doing? Dwelling on it!

Going back to Earl Nightingale’s famous words, “You become what you think about.” It’s scary that our issues from the past–the fears and insecurities we run from–end up being the issues we can dwell on most. And unfortunately when we start dwelling, it’s easy to start becoming what we fear most.

What a downer. How wonderful that we have a choice in this! Not everyone has a bad childhood, and not everyone has deep family scars. But we all have made mistakes in our lives, and we all have things that we can look back on with more wisdom now…so, how will we deal with our past? How will we be in charge of the present, and of our future? Not by running, not by dwelling, but by how we learn from it. Embrace it for what it is: your past. It’s your story. It’s what has made you the person you are today, so be grateful that you are present. But remember that the past only stays a mistake, failure, or dark secret when you learn nothing from it. Learning doesn’t mean harboring anger and resentment, even though you may have every right to do that. Learning doesn’t mean you block off all emotion. Learning means you have to grow–you have to take what you can and move on for the better.

Remember that you are wisened now…although you cannot erase history, tomorrow is a mystery…more importantly, think of it as “mystory”…or “my story”. You get to write the future. You get to take the wisdom from your past lessons and create a beautiful future. So in the wise words of Rafiki, “you can either run from it, or learn from it. What are you going to do?”

An Obama Nation? Not an Abomination.

Posted: November 5, 2008 in Mama Says Namaste
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No matter which way you voted, this has been such a pivotal election in history. Let me first say that I am proud of the way that both McCain and Obama have handled this. In Kenya, President MwaiKibaki declared a public holiday on Thursday in honor of Obama’s election victory. Across the globe, people stayed up all night or woke early to watch the results come in: “Your victory has demonstrated that no person anywhere in the world should not dare to dream of wanting to change the world for a better place,” South Africa’s first black president, Nelson Mandela, said in a letter of congratulations to Obama.

It’s not just the victory of Obama that the world is watching, but also the defeat of McCain. I was reading through some Yahoo News and found this quote:
Tendai Biti, an opposition leader in Zimbabwe, said Obama’s victory was inspiring and so was the concession by John McCain, whose fellow Republican George W. Bush will leave the White House on Jan. 20.

“If in Africa, incumbents would accept defeat and would graciously depart from the seat of power, this would be a different continent, and indeed Zimbabwe would be a different place,” said Biti, whose party is deadlocked in power-sharing talks with Zimbabwean President Robert Mugabe.

How great, that even in this time of fierce competition, we have two great men that can honor and respect each other, and step away from the political jabs and one-up-manship to truly become a united country again. In watching Obama’s acceptance speech, and reading the transcript, it’s hard to pick out just one poignant line. His words spoke of respect and hope, and I believe his speech will be quoted throughout history.

One part I think we should pay attention to today: “Let us resist the temptation to fall back on the same partisanship and pettiness and immaturity that has poisoned our politics for so long. Let us remember that it was a man from this state who first carried the banner of the Republican Party to the White House – a party founded on the values of self-reliance, individual liberty, and national unity. Those are values we all share, and while the Democratic Party has won a great victory tonight, we do so with a measure of humility and determination to heal the divides that have held back our progress. As Lincoln said to a nation far more divided than ours, “We are not enemies, but friends…though passion may have strained it must not break our bonds of affection.” And to those Americans whose support I have yet to earn – I may not have won your vote, but I hear your voices, I need your help, and I will be your President too.”

Let’s put away the accusations and doom and truly look at where we are today. It has saddened me to see relationships lost and people divided by hate in this presidential race. Leaders that at one point I respected have spoken to extremes–proclaiming their “expert” analysis of what will happen if Obama is elected. Well, it has happened, and it affects the whole world. I can’t begin to dictate what the next four years will bring. But I know what it won’t bring from me–it won’t be me bashing the decision made yesterday, or spending my time saying what won’t work. In my personal life, with my family, with my work, and with my hope for America, it is to truly embrace Obama’s motto: Yes, we can. Let’s move forward with love, let’s make a stand for the positive in our own lives–it will pour out to others. Regardless of where you stand on the political decisions made in the White House, you can influence the decisions made in your house. The change starts in each of you.

One last quote from Obama:

“This is our chance to answer that call. This is our moment. This is our time – to put our people back to work and open doors of opportunity for our kids; to restore prosperity and promote the cause of peace; to reclaim the American Dream and reaffirm that fundamental truth – that out of many, we are one; that while we breathe, we hope, and where we are met with cynicism, and doubt, and those who tell us that we can’t, we will respond with that timeless creed that sums up the spirit of a people:

Yes We Can. Thank you, God bless you, and may God Bless the United States of America.”

It’s All Around Us!

Posted: April 18, 2008 in Mama Says Namaste
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What is your bright light? I was looking through my emails, and through a chain of links, ended up on a website called BringLight.com. It got me thinking yet again about the power of positive thinking. It seems the past two weeks I’ve been inundated with emails from poor souls who don’t have any passion in their lives, or don’t know how to dream. How did we all become stuck in a world with no hope?
Do we really have no hope, or is the problem in our own perspective? Life balance is teetering on a tightrope of work, work, work in our society. We get caught up in doing all the time and sooner or later, the day has flown by and it’s merely been a day of survival. Community gets thrown by the wayside as we hurry to get our errands run, our chores done, and the bills paid. When we get together with friends, our talks quickly go to the long list of “to-dos” and becomes a competition on who has put more hours in at work, or has the wildest child, or anything else that puts us in the martyr role.
Our tunnel of work becomes so long that all we see are the dark items on each side—we lose sight of our “bright light” at the end—the reasons we do what we do.
What is the goal of making money? What is the goal of buying groceries? Working? Carting kids to events? Lugging the whole family to church? Isn’t it all to achieve a better, more fulfilling life? Isn’t it all to embrace the “bright light” in all of our lives? Our children, our spouses, our friends, our parents…the music we love, the nature we relish, the time spent learning about new places, people and causes… don’t we all have something to be thankful for?
When you look outside your window this spring, and see the green leaves and the buds blooming, how can you say there is no hope? Even the plants are excited about the new day. When you are surrounded by negativity, your tunnel gets longer and longer as your bright light of hopes gets muddied in the mess. But remember, no matter where you are, there are rays of sunshine peeking through, both figuratively and literally. Take the time to notice them.Embrace each bright light in your life, no matter how small…you’ll find the more you notice them, the brighter those lights become.

Attitude Adjustments

Posted: February 22, 2008 in Mama Says Namaste
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When I was a little girl, my parents’ motto was “say yes whenever possible.”My brothers and I were the kids that could show up at school with a Superman Cape and a tutu if we wanted.We were allowed to play in the mud, play dress-up in our parents’ closet, and scream at the top of our lungs….BUT it was always within the boundaries set by Mom and Dad.They gave us the world, a little at a time.We knew our limits.Yes, we can play in the mud, but not in our Sunday clothes.Yes, we can wear what we want during playtime, but Mommy helps us pick out Sunday-appropriate clothes.Yes, we can play dress-up in our parents’ closet, but raiding Mommy’s makeup stash and covering the walls is a major no-no.And as for screaming…this was my favorite.

Sometimes kids throw tantrums—it’s their only way to get out their emotions.Sometimes they need to keep their emotions in check.Throwing a tantrum in a grocery store—not allowed.All of us knew where every bathroom was in every store.It only took a few times before we realized the rules—tantrums in public places did not give us control—it didn’t make Mommy leave, it didn’t allow us to get what we wanted, it just resulted in punishment, which for us, meant a spanking in the bathroom (which I know is unheard of nowadays).Regardless of what punishment method you use for your children, there are places where it is unacceptable to pitch a fit.The key, though, is to allow a place where they CAN.

I used to get so angry when I was little—my middle brother and I were very close, and he would pick on me and I’d get furious.I was given a choice—if I needed to vent, I could go in my room, close the door, and do whatever to get my anger out that wasn’t destructive (cry, scream, beat a pillow), but I could not do it in the living room, at a store, or by hitting my brother.I distinctly remember storming down the hall, shutting my door (not slamming it, as this was a no because of squished fingers), and screaming my lungs out.I’d cry in my pillow, scream out loud, sit around, and come back out a new person.

This brings us to attitude.My Dad would always tell me that “you are in charge of your attitude.”I could choose whether I was happy or sad, excited or mad.And when we were in a bad mood and taking it out on others, we got an “attitude adjustment,” which consisted of us sitting and listening to a motivational tape, such as Zig Ziglar or Brian Tracy.Sometimes we listened to inspirational sermons on different values that we were struggling with (being kind??!!).We learned valuable lessons during those times—it forced us to sit and think, and was much more effective than a basic time out, as we were learning principles to carry out in our lives, and new ways of handling situations.It’s funny how I’ll catch myself quoting something to my friends now that I learned during one of my “attitude adjustments.”

Now I understand that we are allowed to have every range of emotions-it’s okay to be angry or sad.It’s okay to let it out in a healthy way.But if it darkens my whole day and affects the mood of people around me—that is my fault.I have the power to feel and then move on.I can decide how my day will be.I can vent my frustrations and then be free to enjoy the rest of the day with my family.And now, when my daughter decides to scream her head off, I can be annoyed, take a deep breath, and know that I can choose to be happy anyway!And surprisingly enough, that also affects others, and my daughter usually ends up laughing with me and forgot what she was mad about in the first place!

Build a Fence But Give Them The World

Posted: February 14, 2008 in Mama Says Namaste
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Security comes to your child by more than just a blanket.Although our kids may cling to their favorite lovey or toy, the real security comes from you, their parent.And it’s not just by hugs and kisses on boo-boos, but by boundaries.Boundaries, you say?How can I be loving to my kid by saying “no, no, no”?I say you can be firm in where you stand, be strict in what is necessary, and end up having a “yes, yes, yes” world for your child.

Let me explain.Imagine you are stranded in the middle of the ocean with no land in site—it’s a scary thought. A vast sea is overwhelming to anyone, much less a small child where the world is huge anyway.Think about all the dangers, possibilities, opportunities, and curiosities there are to explore in this world.It’s daunting and overwhelming…about like trying to find a needle in a haystack (or a box of cereal in the cereal aisle).But a small bathtub is a world of fun.In a bathtub, your child can be in charge of her own sea—from one end to the other.She knows what’s all around her—she knows where the water comes from, she knows who is sitting by the side of the bathtub while she plays.

When you have a toddler who is learning independence, the world is even more of a daunting ocean—your child needs you for assurance.If I walk out of mommy’s sight, what will happen?If I throw the cup on the floor, does it disappear?If I hit daddy, is it funny?If I don’t want to go, will Mommy leave me?

Think about that last question.How many times do you play a trick on your child with reverse psychology?

“I don’t want to go!’

“Okay, fine, bye!”

Which then proceeds to a melt-down of:

“Don’t leave me!”

Will you really leave him?Can you reasonably leave a child in the middle of a crowded store?What lesson does it teach him?If I have a different opinion from Mom, and she doesn’t like it, she’s gone.What security does that instill?Instead if they know what their choices are, and the consequences that come from those choices, they in essence have a “fence” of security…much like being able to see the walls of the bathtub.Mommy makes the boundary and I’m in control of the choices I make inside it.

Security is in knowing what is allowed and what isn’t.Your child can have the world…but can they handle it?That is where you come in.You help monitor that world a little at a time.You allow them to play loose in the yard, knowing they can go anywhere in the yard within the boundaries you laid out with them.They are king of their universe…and you are the castle they come home to.You see, the more you help them lay out what is allowed and what isn’t, the more you are able to say “yes!” to their world.They know not to touch the outlets or hit their sister.They also know that their playroom is their domain and the back yard is subject to all the exploration they want.

Security comes by loving your child enough to be firm in your rules, even when they are not loving back to you.Security is knowing your little girl won’t run out in the street because she knows the consequence—it’s the same consequence you’ve given her every time.Security is your little boy knowing he is in control of whether he has a grumpy day or a happy day (remember only YOU are in charge of your attitude!), and no matter whether he likes it or not, you will NOT leave without him.He can choose whether he’ll be happy about that.Security is your child knowing that you expect respect because you give THEM respect.It’s being firm in where you stand, but always stopping to truly listen to what they feel.“There are two lasting gifts you can give your children—one is roots, the other, wings.”Give them the foundation—the rules, the consequences, and your unconditional love, no matter whether they decide to break the rules or follow them.Then give them wings to explore their world—to say yes five times more than you need to say no—to only say no when absolutely necessary (and be prepared to stand firm), and say yes to all the days in the mud, the days of dressing herself, and the moments when they truly ARE superman.

She’ll outgrow her favorite teddy bear.He’ll hang up his blanket cape.But they will always have their security in you—make it count!

She’s Tarnished!

Posted: February 14, 2008 in Mama Says Namaste
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I actually wrote this blog back in January for an organization called “Cool Mom’s Care” http://www.coolmomscare.org…but I thought now would be a good time to post it here as well:

The other day in a store, my husband was holding my then 4-month old daughter and a woman walked by, looked at her, and said “Oh, she’s tarnished!” My husband, in all his wonderful humor, explained that he just didn’t know where to put his cigarette out. My husband doesn’t smoke and the “tarnished” spot the woman referred to was a red birthmark on our daughter’s face.

In honor of National Birth Defects Prevention Month (January), let me just say a little about my daughter’s “birth defect.” It’s funny how you dread and fear that awful statement: birth defect. You wonder if you will love your child any less, or if you’ll feel you have to cover up and make excuses for it. I’m lucky. My daughter will probably outgrow her little strawberry hemangioma, even though right now it is just growing along with the rest of her body. I have seen horrible pictures on the internet of these birthmarks that completely take over a face, impairing a child’s eyesight or mouth development. I am so, so lucky. My precious little daughter has a precious little “ladybug” dot on her cheek. I never even think of it as a problem.

I originally thought she had scratched herself, but I’ve steadily watched it grow and grow, and although it’s small, it’s definitely not going away anytime soon. In reading about these birthmarks; they get bigger and bigger but usually max out and fade away anywhere between the ages of 5 and 10. Oftentimes the treatment to remove them sooner is more detrimental then beneficial. Yet in our era of cosmetic consciousness, we worry how other kids will treat our child. Wow! First off, I know of the trauma of having a fatal defect, or something that creates a disability for life. I’ve always had a heart for children with anything that brands them as “not normal.”

Yet then I think about how I have such a passion for unique things. In our culture we crave to “stand out,” yet when it is something we don’t know about (something as scary as a defect or disability), we want to hide it or excuse it. Why not embrace it? We can’t erase it, and many times, it’s not something we can prevent. Sometimes, because of genetics or the way the wind blows, these things happen. Yet I look at my daughter and know that there is NO WAY I could love her any more than I already do. I love every piece of her (even down to the big red dot on her cheek). It’s a minor, minor detail, but I’ve seen how cruel people can be even with such a small thing. What if I had a child with Down’s syndrome or Cerebral Palsy? Imagine the looks I would get. I can get so mad to see how people can be so hypercritical of these children! These children are unique! I can’t begin to count the number of inspirational stories I’ve heard about people with disabilities, birth defects, handicaps (whatever label gets put on them) and how they have inspired us to look at what all we take for granted. These children help us to see beauty in things we normally pass by. They overcome and do great things.

While many of us sit and moan because we have to walk from the farthest parking spot, someone else just wishes they could walk. While we badger the child who bounces off the walls, we don’t tend to see that the famous painting we have on the wall was created by a child just like that.

My child is learning sign language. Not because I have a deaf family member, or even because I’m determined to make her a genius and get her started early. She’s learning because, one day, she’s going to know what it’s like to be teased since she looks different then other kids. I have always admired American Sign Language, and have made it a point in my education to learn about the deaf world (one degree is in ASL Interpreting). I have really enjoyed learning about not only the defects and medical statistics, but the Deaf culture and the community they have created. They have taken what some people see as a “handicap” and have empowered themselves to do anything they want. About the only limitation a deaf person has is that the rest of the world doesn’t know sign language. But I’ve learned of the beauty of communication, and how even people with different languages can still communicate through basic signs. I’ve been with my deaf friends and seen the ogling looks we get, and how people steer clear of us. On the day my daughter sees a deaf person for the first time, she’s NOT going to be one of ones who just stares. She will be able to talk to them just like everyone else.

Birth defects happen. Sometimes we do everything in our power to have the perfect child, and it ends up that our perfect child is different than what we imagined. Yet even with this “flaw,” they still have the ability to grasp our hearts and hold on tight. And we start to see that our child is different, but not in a bad way. They are unique. They have the gift of showing us something we may take for granted. They have the ability to feel for the underdog. They have a chance to step up and be in charge of their own attitude, and push that positively to everyone they meet.

They have more power than we could hope for, because what they have brings an element of mystery to the outside world–people will stop and stare–so hopefully these beautiful children get the chance to share their sweetness, and someone will walk away blessed instead of bewildered.

Because of the cruelty of the world, they can understand and hopefully help to lift up and put a stop to cruel comments like this as we embrace the beauty of all the unique people in this world. Because, although someone may say they’re “tarnished,” we know that they are precious, beautiful children who shine even brighter in their own unique way.