Posts Tagged ‘perspective’

MamaRose Shares Her Story

Posted: July 12, 2011 in Family Life Learning, What does "Education" Look Like?
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Well, well, well.  One week into a new site and I get the opportunity to do an hour-long video interview with The Homeschool Netcast Network!  Oh so coincidentally, Gerald interviewed my father, Dan Miller, the week before, so he got the perspective of a “retired” homeschool dad, so his goal was to interview me as a homeschool-ee.  However, little did he know at the time that I was embarking on a whole new endeavor with this site!

Here is the video in its entirety.  I hope it sheds some light on where we came from and what the heck we’re thinking now.  I love that Gerald asked me some hard questions not only about how/why I want to teach my kids, but threw the words the naysayers are whispering about us not knowing what we’re doing.  I love it – questions and challenges?  BRING ‘EM ON! 

And yes, you get to see Papa Gray make his grand debut by crawling in at the side around 28 minutes in.  Yes, I said crawling. Seriously – you have to watch it.

Finally, check out the “Free Stuff” page on his site.  I haven’t made it to all the links yet, but it looks like I’ll have plenty of info to get started.  Let me know what you think!

What is Education? Mama Rose

Posted: July 6, 2011 in What does "Education" Look Like?
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What are we doing, you ask? Heck if we know! Seriously, this is the deal: We know what we don’t want for our children:

  • have a 40-hour work-week
  • require them to memorize merely for the sake of passing a test
  • force them to choose their friends based on the grade/age/zoning they are in
  • give them a black and white process of learning
  • create a resentment or aversion to education

I can’t knock any one educational system.  There are pros and cons to each.  It’s easy to point out the bad (public school kids can get lost in the crowd, private school is too expensive, homeschoolers are lost in the Little House on the Prairie).  However, I don’t want to lay the groundwork that we’re choosing a new path because everyone else is wrong.  This is exactly the message I’d be mortified for my kids to think. Let me tell you this – education is NOT the bad guy.

We are choosing a lifestyle that works for us.  I think, ultimately, we’d all like to have this for our kids.  This is what we do want for our girls:

  • an ability to think outside of the box
  • a desire to learn, always
  • understanding on how to find an answer for themselves
  • ease in interacting with people of all ages/creed/ability/ethnicity
  • confidence in who they are and who they aspire to be

For us, the path is clear.  We’re forging our own path.  We’re not sure where it’s going to take us, but we want to learn with our children.  We want to give them the tools to live up to everything they want to, and we want to teach them not merely for the sake of education, but because learning is fun and makes life sweeter. This is what it’s all about.  Welcome to our journey – we’ll all learn along the way!

What Do You REALLY Know?

Posted: July 1, 2011 in Mama Says Namaste
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>The other evening I was chatting with my best girl friend about our lives, and a revelation hit me. As a woman, especially, I can get so stuck on preparing for the future and what I am supposed to do that I can miss the major point of it all. When I was younger, I looked at what I wanted to do with my life, what degree I was going to get, who I was going to marry, if I was going to marry, etc.

I got older, went to school learning about subjects I loved, married and had children. Now it’s not just about what I am going to do, but what does the future look like for my children. I spend my days preparing:

  • I prepare/plan for at least 3 meals every day – if you add snacks in, half my day is just in planning meals! (okay, truth by told, I’m somewhat lying here. My husband happens to be an incredible cook and oftentimes it’s him preparing and cooking. However, that doesn’t help my point here. Which I’ll get to, eventually)
  • I clean the house to prepare for guests and to put myself at ease. (let’s face it – I’m a clean freak. But it makes me feel good to know that 90% of the time I can have drop-in company come over and I’m not focusing on how filthy my house is)
  • I work from home and a key focus is on product/web development. I have to think about everything we do and how it affects the future of the business.
  • I get myself cleaned up and ready for every day – I prep myself for what the day will bring.

I could go on and on about all the many things we all do to prepare for the future. Sometimes, however, the stress of not being able to anticipate the plan dominates your ability to take on the plan. Imagine packing for a trip and having no idea whether you need evening wear or hiking boots and a sweater. This, however, is sometimes how life goes…because, overall, we don’t know what the weather is going to be.

For example, the wife of an entrepreneur. A beginning entrepreneur oftentimes lives a “feast or famine” lifestyle. All businesses have their ups and downs, and when you’re calling all the shots, the downs tend to affect you in a personal way. It can be scary to not know how the future is going to play out, and I see many stay-at-home moms who are in this supportive role, yet are terrified of how the plan will play out. They stress over all the little plans of life because they are uncertain the “big plan” of the business will thrive. They crave to be able to dot their i’s and be the “hostess with the mostess” who has things under control.

Sometimes, when you’re not calling the shots in one area you feel is vital (i.e. family breadwinner) you seek to control as many other areas as possible. It gets difficult if your partner is unable to give you a play-by-play of how life is going to go!

So how do you cope? How do I cope, not being 100% on our business ventures and whether it will guarantee me the income I’d like this year? I’ll tell you what – focus on who you are vs. what your plan is. Like most of you know, 48 Days focuses on the fact that 85% of the process of finding the work you love is by looking inward. Think about this – why the focus on yourself?

The more you understand who you are, the better you are able to manage life in general. You identify your strengths, you get resources for your weaknesses. You know what is most important, and you focus on those in times of uncertainty.

I don’t know if my girls will turn on me in their teenage years. But I do know beyond a shadow of a doubt that they feel my love for them, and that they know every single day that I will listen to what they have to say.

I don’t know if working in a family business will be the best venture for my whole life. But I do know that no matter how much I love my work, family comes first, and if that is ever challenged by working together, I will find a new job.

I don’t know if my husband will be in as perfect health in his 70s as he is right now. But I do know that he is my absolute best friend and I will be by his side regardless of physical circumstance.

I don’t know if we’ll be in the same house/city/lifestyle five years from now. But I do know that no matter where I am, I’m with the people that matter most to me, and I wouldn’t trade that for the world.

We don’t know every curve in the road of our lives, so of course, we need to figure out how to also enjoy the journey. My challenge to you is to remember who you are. Remember what is important, and rely on that – you are beautiful. You are happy. You are relishing the moment as it is. You are wonderful, radiant you. Take life by the horns and ride on, knowing that no matter what life brings, you’ll be giving it your best self.

What is your best attribute that helps you embrace life?

We Believe…In the Power of Forgiveness to Heal, and the Power of Love to Carry Through

Posted: May 15, 2011 in Mama Says Namaste
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If you’re new here, the last five posts have been addressing each line of our Family Creed.   Only two more to go, and each one is so powerful to me!  For today, the creed is “We Believe…in the power of forgiveness to heal, and the power of love to carry through.”

This is a perfect one to address considering the podcast we just did last week on the ConnieAndSheila Talk Podcast.  Based on the previous blogpost here, we were asked on the show to address the topic “I Am So Unique“.  Not only does this podcast really hit on the power of love and acceptance, but also on how the uniqueness in each of us strengthens all of us, like I’ve stated before.

During one of their previous podcasts, they interviewed my brother and sister-in-love, Jared and Ilea Angaza.  Their podcast was on “Living without Electricity…but Lots of Energy“.  Each week Connie and Sheila start it off with powerful quotes, and the one that really hit me in this interview was:

“Forgiving is not forgetting; it’s actually remembering – – remembering and not using your right to hit back. It’s a second chance for a new beginning. And the remembering part is particularly important. Especially if you don’t want to repeat what happened.”
~ Desmond Tutu

Wow–how incredible.  When we talk about the power of forgiveness to heal, we’re not saying you have to forget it, or act like it doesn’t hurt.  Remember it, address the pain and/or anger, and then take the next step: heal.  When I was in college I studied The Work by Byron Katie.  If you’ve never seen this, check out the process at the link above–it’s free.   It really hit home for me – we’ve all been hurt by someone, and sometimes the hurt is so strong we come to identify the person by this one action.  We let it brew and fester and become a sore spot, or we write off the feeling completely and don’t pay attention to the person or the pain…thus potentially missing out on an important lesson or relationship.

I ask that you listen to the podcast “I Am So Unique” for a few reasons.  First, you’ll get the back story on Nathan and me and this wonderful thing we call our life.  Second, we talk about forgiveness and grace, and lastly, we address the topic of Love in a controversial why by talking about Rob Bell’s newest book, Love Wins. (I’ve got to warn you…there were a few tech glitches and you’ll hit some dead spots in the podcast.  Bear with it–we pick it back up.  Just think of them as “moments of reflection” times!”)

Everyone who reads this has their own perspective on life.  We each bring our own beliefs and opinions, and I’m not asking you to think like me.  I am, however, challenging all of you to just love first.  I’m pretty sure that comes before judgement everywhere but in the alphabet.  At least I hope so.  My final thoughts…this world is big and beautiful – we have the chance to experience our closest understanding of heaven on this earth merely by embracing these two powers–forgiving and loving first.

What do you think? 

We Believe…In Celebrating Together…Our Faith….

Posted: February 12, 2011 in Mama Says Namaste
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Line #3 of our Family Creed is “We believe in celebrating together–our faith, our heritage, our traditions.”
This is such a complex line that it’s too much for one blog.  I started writing and saw that I would never make it past the first comma without the need for another blog.  So, line #3 is divided even more, down to the key points–Faith, Heritage, and Tradition.

Faith is such a hot topic, and it tends to either bring great controversy or get tiptoed around.  Whenever “faith” is brought into play, it instantly takes one to the theological debate not only on “what do I believe,” but “what religion do I follow?”  Religion is that hairy issue that unfortunately tends to divide us all instead of unite us.  Typically the next question following the religion one is to explain why that religion (or denomination) is “right” and the rest is therefore “wrong.”  Nathan and I have spent a lot of time studying and questioning why we believe what we do.  I love to have theological debates with people of other viewpoints (as long as the goal is open discussion vs. converting to one mind).  I don’t believe we live in a black and white world, and although my faith in God has never faltered, I’ve definitely had times of questioning my affiliation with a specific denomination (or religion, for that matter) throughout my life.

I know I will never have all the answers on what I believe; the more I experience and mature in life, the more it’s going to reflect in my understanding of our Creator.  I’m pushing myself to stay challenged, however, I’m also satisfied in being “gray.”  In other words, I don’t need the why for everything I believe–and I definitely have a lot of open-ended viewpoints that don’t fall in line with where I live in the conservative buckle of the Bible Belt.   So how do I share my faith with my family, when I myself cringe at the fire-and-brimstone black and white mentality I see in many of the institutions around us?  (I say “institution” because my understanding of God’s “church” is the people, not the place…at least that’s what I hope it is!)

Now, before I go any further (and I’ll go ahead and put the disclaimer out here that discussions, I love…conversion missions to get me to “see the light” are another ballgame)…my belief in God is sound.  I want my children to know this, and it’s important in our marriage.  But the hows to pass it on are tough.  In the black and white understanding of a child, how do I celebrate the “gray” that I love?

It’s an amazing ride, being a parent, and I know my kids are going to question these things–like why do we celebrate our faith?  What do we believe (and ultimately, what do I believe)?  Why does God allow bad things?  Who is Jesus?  How is God three people?  Who, what, where, how, why, why, why?  My hope is that I can give my kids the reasons I celebrate what I believe–that we can grow together in our faith, and that I can instill in them a joy and desire to learn all they can in everything, especially their faith.  I want them to know faith like they know love in our home.  Faith, peace, hope, compassion, love…these encompass my viewpoint of God, and beyond my words, I hope our children celebrate it by the things that we do–the times we spend in nature “talking with the trees” and feeding the ducks, playing in the huge forsythia in the back that has become the “zookeeper’s house”, the “fairy house”, the “kitty-cat bed,” etc…

In one of Dad’s blogs, he talks about our daughter’s Talks with Jesus.  When we celebrate our faith with our children, it doesn’t mean I sit them down for a lesson in what to believe or think.  Although I want to be continually learning in our family, it’s more than just in a book–it’s celebrating our faith through all elements of our lives–not just in our minds, but in our hearts and in the emotions we go through.  It’s through play and work, joy and tears, confidence and lack thereof.  It means that we celebrate it all–together.  The questions, the awe, the beauty, the doubts, the peace in faith, etc.  And I know that it’s not a one-way street.  I’m eager to discover what my children will teach me when it comes to reminding me why I  celebrate faith.

Our Family Creed

Posted: January 18, 2011 in Mama Says Namaste
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Growing up with the family I have, having basic rules for the house just weren’t enough.  Time-outs included listening to motivational tapes by Zig Ziglar (I know his voice in my sleep now) and laying out goals for the future.  Mom’s top priority was to create a “haven of peace” in our home.  Going with the 48 Days philosophy that to truly succeed you must first know yourself and know your mission, our family had a mission statement we taped on the wall:

In a safe place, people are kind.  Sarcasm, fighting, back-biting and name-calling were exceptions.  Kindness, consideration and forgiveness are the way of life.

In a safe place there is laughter.  Not just the canned laughter of television, but real laughter that comes from sharing meaningful work and play.

In a safe place there are rules.  The rules are few and fair and are made by the people who live and work there, including the children.

In a safe place people listen to one another.  They care about one another and show that they do. 

Please God, make this a safe place. ~Mary MacCracken

What wall, you wonder? The bathroom one, of course!  Where else do you go several times daily and sit/stand still without anything else to do but read something?  If you ever want your family to memorize something, I’m telling you, this is the way to do it!  (And yes, I wrote the above from memory).

Now that my girls are getting older (1 and 3), it’s time that we start really laying out the principles we want to live by.  Although I cherish the mission statement I grew up with, I was eager to find our own.  We do have our basic rules laid out by Ladybug Girl:

But a mission statement is more than that–it’s not just going over all of the “no’s”….it’s about addressing the “yeses”  the things that are most important to us as a family.  I was browsing through a random magazine one day and found it–I don’t know who to trace this to, but this is the essence of what I desire for our home, and what we have chosen to capture as our “family creed.”  This is not only in our bathroom, but on the fridge and in my wallet.

Here is what it says:

Over the next few blogs, I want to hash out each one of these statements above–to address why we chose to have them in our creed and what it means to me.  I’m excited about this and I’m eager to hear about yours.

Do you have a family mission statement (or creed)?

Smile and MOVE!

Posted: September 30, 2010 in Mama Says Namaste
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Sam Parker does a great job of motivating others.  Actually, his mission in life is to do just that.  His company, Give More Media, focuses on fulfilling this “optimistically, truthfully, responsibly…”  He creates fun videos and books that inspire others.  One of my favorites is this one:

There are many, many more.  But wow–what is the underlying message in all of his motivation?  To me, it’s all about perspective.  Did you know we all live in the same world?  We all have various obstacles, tragedies, pitfalls and failures in life.  We may experience different circumstances, but every one of us can make the decision on how our circumstances will affect us.  We all have the same hours in every day.  And in a world of chaos, we will always have control over one thing: ourselves.

So how can we make a difference?  How can we make a positive impact in a negative world?  How can we really “smile and move?”  It starts inward.  To motivate others, look at yourself–what can motivate you?  What is there in your life today that gets you going–that plants that seed of positivity?  Is it your devotion time? Your kids? Your morning run?  How about those awful days where nothing seems right, and you look outside and see the storm clouds rolling in.  Wow, is it awful, or is it magnificent?  The fresh scent of rain, the rolling thunder, the restoration of all growing plants getting a fresh drink, the moment to just sit and soak it all in…

How about you?  What’s your perspective today? How can it incite a positive effect on your world?

Don’t Swallow an Elephant!

Posted: October 2, 2008 in Mama Says Namaste
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I’m a person who craves change-I love new adventures and challenges. Sometimes, though, it can seem pretty overwhelming. Have you ever had those moments where you just feel like you’re trying to get a handle on something impossible-like trying to swallow an elephant? Remember that even elephants can be cut up to bite-size pieces. Okay, that is too graphic and gross for my vegetarian tastes, but you get the picture.

Remember that there are SEVEN key areas in your life: Family, Community, Recreation, Spiritual, Personal Development (emotional), and Work. Sometimes we see an elephant in one area, and the shadow darkens everything else. When you get overwhelmed, just look at the positives–break life down to bite-size portions. You are in control of your attitude, and sometimes a perspective change is all it takes to bring an elephant down to a feasible burger…or in my case, a veggie burger.