Posts Tagged ‘personality style’

We Believe…the Uniqueness in Each of Us Strengthens All of Us

Posted: April 21, 2011 in Mama Says Namaste
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I’m going through our Family Creed and addressing each line.  The next one up is “We believe…the uniqueness in each of us strengthens all of us.” This line is actually why I chose this family creed.  It is so powerful.  Read this again and soak it in–the uniqueness in each of us strengthens all of us.

The definition of synergy is: two or more agents working together to produce a result not obtainable by any of the agents independently. The word synergy or synergism comes from two Greek words: erg meaning “to work”, and syn meaning “together”; hence, synergism is a “working together.”

I look at my beautiful family–what is unique about each one of us?  My husband has the creative and intuitive eye–he is able to pull the beauty and essence out of anything, whether it be another person or the natural flavors in an amazing meal.  He is unassuming and allows others to find their own way, when sometimes I want to shove them through the door.  He is able to grasp the attention of one-year-olds and ninety-year-olds with his storytelling and animated behavior.  He is not only my husband and the love of my life, he is someone I deeply respect and admire.

My incredible first-born “Ladybug Girl”– what stands out to me in her?  She goes by the beat of her own drum, and it’s a fascinating rhythm.  She is a deep thinker, and a master negotiator.  She has an amazing ability to put two and two together to understand an overall concept.  She turns four today, and I thoroughly enjoy her.  I see my stubborn will in her, but I also see a little girl who will be a leader, who will think beyond what people tell her to think and carve a new path, who will persuade and inspire and make an impact on all she meets.

My sweet “Snuggle-puppy” is next, and at 18 months, there are still plenty of unique traits in her.  She has a volume level that will wake the dead, and although I may make me cringe sometimes, this little doll commands attention wherever she goes, and she gets it.  She has such a love for people and seeks out new friends wherever we go.   She loves to dress up and wear hats and shoes—it’s ironic, she’s so open to people, so loving and engaging, and her favorite pastime is to walk in someone else’s shoes.  Literally.

Then there’s me–it’s easy to lay it out for others, but take a moment to reflect on yourself.  It’s hard!  What are my strengths?  What is unique about me?  I have a mission to love above all things–it’s so important to me that it affects everything I do–how I choose to respond to a customer service email, how I make myself give a hug sometimes when I’d rather shut down and walk away…when I’m reminded about how I’d rather practice being kind rather than being right.  My personality tends to lean toward wanting to be right all the time–to “win.”  But I think my biggest strength is that my idea of winning is when love wins.  (Yes, I’m about to read Rob Bell’s controversial book, Love Wins, and I can’t wait).  For me, when I win, I truly hope it’s in love rather than in facts.

So….here are these unique traits in each of us in our family–alone, we are some strong-willed people!  But together, with all of these…if we pull a little from each of us–the patience to step back and see the essence of someone and allow them to discover it at their own pace, the determination to act on your dreams and motivate others to do the same, the ability to embrace the world with open arms and understand life in another’s shoes, and the decision to above all, let love win…what a powerful family we’ve become.

What is unique about you?  About each family member?  How can you apply it to your overall family for the ultimate synergy?

We Believe…That Everyone’s Feelings Count

Posted: March 31, 2011 in Mama Says Namaste
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I’m going through our Family Creed and addressing each line.  The next one up is “We believe…that everyone’s feelings count.” Funny enough, my first inclination on this as a family creed is that it means that we pay attention to the feelings of our small children.  While I definitely believe that is important, I’ve been struck lately that it really means everyone.  That means us parents, too.  Specifically…it’s me as a mom.

Raising children is not an easy task.  I absolutely adore our girls–we have so much fun.  However, knowing that we are shaping the lives of a future generation…and that our household will have a great impact on what our children will become…that’s a lot of pressure.  And that sometimes can equate to major burnout.

Have you had those moments where you feel like a slave in your own house?  Where on top of cleaning the house, cooking meals, doing laundry, paying bills, accomplishing work, and trying to maintain sanity, you have beautiful little children undertow that demand your attention 150% of the time??? I’m there.  If I here “MOMMMMMMMYYYYYY!!!!!”  one more time I may scream and run the other way.  (If you’ve met my youngest, you’ll know that even if I hightailed it to California, I’d still hear her).

Being a mom is a special role, and especially with small children, it’s a highly demanding role.  There is something about being the mom that requires extra nurturing, extra attention, and special boo-boo kisses that only mommies can administer.  How can you say no to a child begging for mommy’s love?

Again, going back to feelings…I want more than anything for my children to feel love in our home.  I want them to feel safe, secure, and at peace.  I want them to know the old cliche, “home is where the heart is”….and our hearts are always open to them.  I want them to feel heard, for them to know we’ll listen and weigh their words seriously no matter what their age or what the topic, and I want them to feel free to be open about their feelings, no matter what they are (I’ll add the caveat that one of our rules in the family is “no hateful talk”, so having the feeling about not liking someone does not equate an “I hate you” in our home, ever).

Now….the whole paragraph above…let’s take out the kids and put the parents in there.  It’s just as important.  It’s not just about acknowledging your children.  I don’t believe in a child-centered home.  One day, those children will leave, and if everything is centered on them, what you can end up with is a shell of who you once were.  I want to ensure that in our home, my feelings, my husband’s feelings…they are just as vital.  Our relationship is #1 in our home–taking the time to invest in each other is, to me, the best thing I can do for my children.

Showing them an example of  a loving, healthy relationship is important because this is the first and foremost impression they will carry for relationships throughout their lives.  My parents came from families with unhappy marriages/divorces…they overcame all odds to remain happily married, but they are the first to say that although their history didn’t break them, it did make them–they worked hard to establish the relationship they have now, determined not to duplicate the wounds of the past.

Finally, beyond respecting and truly listening to the feelings of your spouse, let’s get to the root of it.  Are you taking the time to listen to you?  I’m getting hit today with how hard it is for me to just let go, wind down, and take some me time.  When the girls are asleep, I relax with my husband, but sitting here tonight on “guys’ night”, I’ve thought about all the things I “need” to do–clean up the kitchen, throw in a load of laundry, answer the gobs of work emails piling up…but where is that time for me?  I get so busy doing that I forget to be.  Taking those moments to rest are so, so important.  If my cup is empty, drained, exhausted, and completely depleted, how can I pour my “riches” over to others, specifically my family?

So…take the time right now to think about you first.  How do you feel?  Have you spent time today doing something just for you to help you remember the amazing person you are?  Second, have you invested in your spouse–let them know their feelings count?  And only after these two things…make sure you wrap your arms around your precious children, no matter what their ages, and let them know that despite all the craziness live throws your way, you truly cherish them.

Our Family Creed

Posted: January 18, 2011 in Mama Says Namaste
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Growing up with the family I have, having basic rules for the house just weren’t enough.  Time-outs included listening to motivational tapes by Zig Ziglar (I know his voice in my sleep now) and laying out goals for the future.  Mom’s top priority was to create a “haven of peace” in our home.  Going with the 48 Days philosophy that to truly succeed you must first know yourself and know your mission, our family had a mission statement we taped on the wall:

In a safe place, people are kind.  Sarcasm, fighting, back-biting and name-calling were exceptions.  Kindness, consideration and forgiveness are the way of life.

In a safe place there is laughter.  Not just the canned laughter of television, but real laughter that comes from sharing meaningful work and play.

In a safe place there are rules.  The rules are few and fair and are made by the people who live and work there, including the children.

In a safe place people listen to one another.  They care about one another and show that they do. 

Please God, make this a safe place. ~Mary MacCracken

What wall, you wonder? The bathroom one, of course!  Where else do you go several times daily and sit/stand still without anything else to do but read something?  If you ever want your family to memorize something, I’m telling you, this is the way to do it!  (And yes, I wrote the above from memory).

Now that my girls are getting older (1 and 3), it’s time that we start really laying out the principles we want to live by.  Although I cherish the mission statement I grew up with, I was eager to find our own.  We do have our basic rules laid out by Ladybug Girl:

But a mission statement is more than that–it’s not just going over all of the “no’s”….it’s about addressing the “yeses”  the things that are most important to us as a family.  I was browsing through a random magazine one day and found it–I don’t know who to trace this to, but this is the essence of what I desire for our home, and what we have chosen to capture as our “family creed.”  This is not only in our bathroom, but on the fridge and in my wallet.

Here is what it says:

Over the next few blogs, I want to hash out each one of these statements above–to address why we chose to have them in our creed and what it means to me.  I’m excited about this and I’m eager to hear about yours.

Do you have a family mission statement (or creed)?