Posts Tagged ‘little things’

MamaRose Shares Her Story

Posted: July 12, 2011 in Family Life Learning, What does "Education" Look Like?
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Well, well, well.  One week into a new site and I get the opportunity to do an hour-long video interview with The Homeschool Netcast Network!  Oh so coincidentally, Gerald interviewed my father, Dan Miller, the week before, so he got the perspective of a “retired” homeschool dad, so his goal was to interview me as a homeschool-ee.  However, little did he know at the time that I was embarking on a whole new endeavor with this site!

Here is the video in its entirety.  I hope it sheds some light on where we came from and what the heck we’re thinking now.  I love that Gerald asked me some hard questions not only about how/why I want to teach my kids, but threw the words the naysayers are whispering about us not knowing what we’re doing.  I love it – questions and challenges?  BRING ‘EM ON! 

And yes, you get to see Papa Gray make his grand debut by crawling in at the side around 28 minutes in.  Yes, I said crawling. Seriously – you have to watch it.

Finally, check out the “Free Stuff” page on his site.  I haven’t made it to all the links yet, but it looks like I’ll have plenty of info to get started.  Let me know what you think!

Embrace the Moment

Posted: June 22, 2011 in Mama Says Namaste
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This past week I went to Roan Mountain North Carolina. Staying in a little cabin in the mountains, we had no phones, no computers, no TV, not even (gasp) music playing!! (That’s a biggie for me).

However, what we had was every single moment. It’s amazing how much time passes by sitting in front of the computer or TV. When you take it all away, you have the opportunity to see every moment. Our family needed a break from it all, to just enjoy ourselves and each other. Because, ultimately, family is what it’s all about.

Hiking up in the mountains we saw incredible views and it got me thinking about how often we are looking out to the future. I’m an advocate for positive thinking, intentionally striving to become the person you want to be, and moving toward lifelong goals.

However, don’t miss the little things. Don’t pass up the opportunity to smell the flowers, as cliche as it may sound.

Don’t miss the moment to get close with those you care about. Stoop down to see the world through your child’s eyes. Follow along with their imagination and see where it takes you. Embrace the moment.

And above all, remember that these are just moments. When they are bad (and we all have bad moments), remember that – it’s a moment. It’s fleeting. A negative thing does not have to become your identity. A moment in time is a moment to take what is and look to make it good. When it’s bad, acknowledge it and let it go.

When the moment is good, stop everything and soak it in. Truly let it engulf you. Open your heart, mind, and body to the sweetness of the now, whether it’s admiring the beauty around you, a loving embrace by someone you care about, or a moment in play with a child. This, to me, is the most important part of making those moments last.

In Celebrating Together…our Traditions

Posted: February 23, 2011 in Mama Says Namaste
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Line #3 of our Family Creed is “We believe in celebrating together–our faith, our heritage, our traditions.”
This is such a complex line that it’s too much for one blog.  I started writing and saw that I would never make it past the first comma without the need for another blog.  So, line #3 is divided even more, down to the key points–Faith, Heritage, and Tradition.

Traditions are those valuable things that make us feel at home. Going back to faith, I feel that the times that I question the most are the times that I hold closer to those traditional aspects of religion–the recitation and traditions of the Eucharist, Holy Communion…  When kids are young and learning their boundaries, the consistency of a daily schedule–naptime, when we eat, etc–tend to be the “home” that balances them and keeps them from freaking out.  When we are older and we are stressed, we tend to go to the habits and traditions that give us that same feeling of peace…going for a run, baking bread, meditation…whatever makes you feel at peace.

I think traditions are like that.  A tradition becomes more than a one-time occurrence when it we associate it with a good feeling.  I like to think of that feeling as home.  It’s easy to pull out the traditions around the holidays…and if you think about it, that is the time we are typically surrounded by family, and reminiscing on the comforts we remembered as home when we were children.

During Christmas time when I was young, every year Mom would read the story of “Why Christmas Trees Aren’t Perfect.”  Every Mom and Dad would put the angel on the top of the tree last, together, and pose for a picture while they kiss…making for many near-tree-toppling experiences, but lots of fun and laughter.  Every Christmas Eve, my middle brother and I would camp out in Mom and Dad’s room, making pallets on the floor and straining to hear Santa (Dad’s, don’t “ho, ho, ho” when kids are still up–we know your voice).  We always baked the traditional pumpkin pie for a meal, and my famous apple pie.

We’ve added in some new traditions now in our family–Christmas Eve we open up a gift with the girls that is a family game–no batteries allowed.  The girls get new matching pajamas every year.  Christmas Eve is with my in-laws, and I make a pumpkin roll…and Christmas morning at our house is a big breakfast and everyone is invited, then down to my parent’s for the afternoon.  On Thanksgiving, we all write down the things we are most thankful for that year–once we have a few years to choose from, we’ll then pull out past ones to read about what was important from the year before.

We have more traditions beyond just holidays, though.  Almost every meal we eat as a family, and Ladybug Girl starts us off with her prayer song:

We tuck each girl in every night with their own special lullaby, followed by lots of hugs and kisses, and in the mornings the girls pile in our bed for some quality time before we get started for the day.  I’m sure this is a tradition that won’t be as popular when they are teenagers, but for now I cherish these special times with them.

I hope to add in more and more traditions not merely to the holidays, but in our daily life.  To me, these traditions create home, and I love starting new ones and remembering the old ones, even if it was merely for a season.

What are some traditions in your home?  During the holidays?  In your daily life?

We Believe…In Celebrating Together…our Heritage…

Posted: February 18, 2011 in Mama Says Namaste
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Line #3 of our Family Creed is “We believe in celebrating together–our faith, our heritage, our traditions.”
This is such a complex line that it’s too much for one blog.  I started writing and saw that I would never make it past the first comma without the need for another blog.  So, line #3 is divided even more, down to the key points–Faith, Heritage, and Tradition.

Celebrating our heritage comes through in so many ways–we are who we somewhat because of where we come from.  Although our past doesn’t define us, our perspective of the world can largely be shaped by the faith, heritage and traditions we choose to hold on to.

We have a rich heritage that includes Amish, Native Americans, and confederate soldiers.  My grandparents on my father’s side were raised Amish–horses and buggies, no electricity, thirteen and sixteen children, the whole caboodle.  My mother’s side of the family brought the Welsh and the Native Americans…the story goes that an Englishman came and swept a Native American squaw off her feet and they lived happily ever after. We still carry the olive skin and dark hair and eyes from this branch of the family tree.

My husband’s history is the deep South.  His grandmother can trace their descendants back to the Mayflower.  There are colonels and belles and even Thomas Edison in his family tree.  His relatives had a love for education and nature, and there are many foresters and naturalists in his family tree.   On his father’s side, there is a hard work ethic that came from starting from nothing and creating a family, and although the history isn’t as known on this side, the heritage they’ve passed down is still just as rich.

So what does this heritage imply for our children?  My husband brings a love of history and a passion for the South…not the “redneck” stereotype, but the true Southern gentleman.  He shares with his children all of the names of the native Southern plants; what they are, what they do, how you can survive off the wilderness…  His grandfathers taught him the importance of hard work and doing things right so that working, in my husband’s mind, is second nature.  He brings work and play together as he truly enjoys what he does, whether it’s his work with 48 Days or playing “Mr. Fix-it” around the house.  His parents fostered his imagination in a way where I am continually amazed by his creativity and the amazing things he comes up with–his time on the floor with our girls in creative play is incredible to watch.

The greatest thing from my heritage is from my Amish grandparents…this was what we carried on the most, and made the greatest impact on our whole family.  My father’s parents taught us the “best of” the Amish, in my mind.  We learned how to do things from scratch…sew, bake, grow a garden and take it from a seed to canning, applesauce, or a fresh rhubarb crisp.  I learned about farming on my uncle’s farm, and learned about flowers from following my grandpa around.  Grandma taught me how to make a perfect stitch, and that if it’s not done right, it’s not done at all.

My grandparents instilled a heritage that, although they chose to leave the Amish ways when they married, the core values and ethics flowed over to their children, their children’s children, and now on to their great-grandchildren.  I could go on and on about the people they were and the impression the made on our whole family.  They welcomed my mother, a naive “worldly” fashion model, and embraced her as one of their own…and in doing so exemplified the love and openness I admire so much as a reflection of the faith we celebrate as well.  My grandmother made such an impact on me I named my daughter after her–not only are we passing on the heritage of our family, we are passing on the family names.  (My paternal grandparents’ engagement picture)

Both of our girls are named after our grandmothers–three grandmas honored, and eight legacies in that generation that we have to thank for the heritage we know now.  We celebrate the history that is in our childhood hearts–the elements of our past and our ancestor’s past that has been stored in our souls and passed down to each generation.  We remember and relish certain things from childhood that become etched in our memory as important…and then we pass it on to our own children.

A Princeton definition of heritage is “practices that are handed down from the past by tradition”…  The practices and stories I learned from my grandparents and my husband did from his have created the crucial foundation for our own definition of family.  We are blessed to have our heritage, and the next post will go further into the traditions we’ve brought into our own home because of it.

What is your heritage?  How do you pass that down in your family?

Train Up a Child…

Posted: June 28, 2010 in Mama Says Namaste
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How do I condense into a short blog the journey we have been on with our eldest and the long road of discipline?  I’ll give it my best shot here…
As you can see from the last blog, temper tantrums have been my life.  It got to the point of 2-3 hour meltdowns and tantrums at bedtime, us walking on eggshells, not sure when the next tantrum would erupt, and our poor child was just not fun to be around.  Enter me lamenting on Facebook, which led to a comment from my brother, father of seven, which led to many conversations with my brother and sister-in-law on my wonderful, trying, brilliant, and very strong-willed little girl.
They recommended a book, Train Up a Child, by Michael and Debi Pearl.  Now…word of precaution.  This book is incredibly fundamental.  It’s very traditional.  You really, reallyneed to take it with a big grain of salt.  A large, large grain.  Um, so large that I’m nervous recommending it.  But…this book changed our lives.

My synopsis of what I learned…raising children isn’t about just disciplining bad behavior–it’s about training and correcting them so they thrive–so I am not merely reactive to my child’s behavior but proactive in promoting the positive behavior that is important in raising future adults that are thoughtful, respectful and a joy to be around.
Spanking gets a bad rap. I completely understand why.  Seeing the parents who react in anger, who swipe up their kid and hit him on the bottom at every wayward behavior, kids that learn that you hit to get your point across…I definitely had reservations on ever spanking, even though I was spanked as a kid.  But then again…I  did get spanked as a kid.  And nope, haven’t been through therapy because of it.  I don’t actually remember anything negative from it, other than me not wanting to get in trouble.
My top tips for effective spanking vs. abuse…they have to know it’s coming.  It sounds awful, but we talk about the spanking and why she’s getting it before it happens–she knows it’s coming and she has to accept her punishment–no kicking and screaming while I hold her down.  Reason for this?  If she can’t accept a consequence for her behavior at three, how can I expect her to accept it when she’s sixteen and I have less control over it?
Next, we use a spoon…dubbed “the long arm of the law”.  Why?  Because it isn’t our hand that does the harm, first off.  It’s also something that causes a sting on the surface without lasting damage.  You don’t hear of trips to the hospital because of a wooden spoon spanking.  Using your hand to spank a bottom can damage a kids’ spine if done too hard, and also, in my opinion, is way too convenient…which means it’s more likely that you will spank in anger.
Which leads me to my biggest point.  A spanking is not to be done in anger.  Never, ever hit when you as the parent are mad.  If you retaliate to their bad behavior by displaying your own, then what you’ve passed on to your child is not the importance of good behavior, but that anything goes–it’s just a matter of who’s bigger (and who wins).
And always end with a positive-because spanking is just a minor part of discipline. We use time outs, breaks in the “reflection chair”, spanking, distractions, incentives and talking things over.  We don’t immediately rush to the spoon if a break from the situation will do. There are certain times when we have to consider that she is three–she doesn’t have a perfect grasp on why she feels the way she does (heck, I have a hard time grasping why I feel certain ways sometimes!)  There are times when lack of sleep, allergies, or high emotions take over and a hug is the best preventative discipline for her.
What it ultimately boils down to is that our goal as parents is to empower Ladybug Girl to be the best person she can be–and that means teaching her to understand her limits and how to cope in this world in a positive way.  As a child getting a grasp on her emotions, we as parents stand as her sounding board and hope to impart what we know and help her to create her own path with a firm foundation.
It’s not about spanking.  It’s not about discipline.  It’s all about training…or the more socially acceptable term–”raising” a child.  I want to be her safe haven–I want to be her listening ear and gentle guide.  I want to be there for her–literally and figuratively.  Most importantly, I want her to know she’s loved.  No matter what, I love her, and I love her enough to push her–to be the best Ladybug Girl she can be–one that has a good grasp of the world and how to be a positive light in it.
I don’t have it all figured out, and I can guarantee that both girls will throw me for a loop countless more times in the next twenty years (and beyond).  But I think all we can do as parents is the best we know at the time.  And right now I feel at peace with where we are at with discipline.  Since Nathan and I “laid down the law,” we have gotten a child that constantly comes and gives us hugs and tells us she loves us, who dances and sings 80% of time, and who is a genuinely happy kid.  The more clear boundaries we’ve laid the more secure she’s become, and I’m amazed at the little girl who’s emerging–she’s not a toddler anymore.  She has a better grasp on things than I give her credit for, and she keeps us laughing most of the time with her funny precociousness.
I feel the weight of parenting–the importance of what we do right now setting patterns for life, and we’re very, very careful about making sure we’re doing what is in Ladybug Girl’s (and now Snugglepuppy’s) best interest.  We all fail, and Nathan and I have our moments of frustrations, but the girls are rich in an abundance of loving support.  We have accountability all around us–we have so much family invested in these children that I’m confident that even if we don’t have it all figured out, we’ll be the best parents we know how to be, and we’ll have plenty of support to keep us in check if it were ever a negative effect on our children.
I’m so thankful for everyone in our lives that invests in our girls-grandparents, uncles and aunts, godparents, teachers and coaches…I’m immensely grateful for every positive influence in my girls’ lives, and I know that regardless of us having this whole parenting thing figured out, my girls will always feel our love.

Little Things

Posted: February 17, 2009 in Mama Says Namaste
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What can I offer you, my Creator,
Who crafted each being with love
How can I give you a gift for the heavens
When you made both earth and above?

You made the eagle to soar through the sky
You made the robin to sing
You created the sea and the butterfly
What, then is my offering?

How do I honor you who made all…
To give you something unique
How do I, a being so small,
Amaze thee with Whom I now seek?

You answer me now in the blow of the wind
In the sweet breeze through my hair
You answer me as the trees sway and they bend
And you speak to me through my prayer.

“Give me the gift of receiving it all.
Take everything in that I made
Seek every creature no matter how small
And see the beauty that’s displayed.”

“Walk in the churches of forest and leaves
Teach your children to know
names of my flowers, songs of the bees…
To treasure all things here below.”

In heaven we imagine the sparkly gates
We forget about what we see here
We spend our time with drama and hate
And pass by the sweet simple deer

Nature is your gift to us,
and we humans seem to forget
That the greatest gift we give you back
is to see it, to love and respect

You know me, you know us all
You know each hair on our head
You’re with us on our journey now
And walk with us when we are dead

It’s my gift to honor you
To truly see the world
To cherish each moment all the way through
To share it with my little girl

I see the whispers in the trees
The sparkle on the flower
I hear you say that you love me
Each and every hour

It’s in the wind, it’s in the sun
It’s even in the rain
It’s the moment that we are one
And I run back to you again

Thank you for the little things
Thank you for sharing it all
Thank you for creating a world of awe
That amazes me, no matter how small.

~Ashley Logsdon

Walking in Circles

Posted: February 3, 2009 in Mama Says Namaste
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This morning I started the first in a four-week series with a group from St. Augustine’s Episcopal Church where I go. The title of the study is “Visions of Peace in the Kingdom of God” and Becca has aptly subtitled it “Walking in Circles.” She has written an incredible blog on it here: http://www.beccastevens.org/.

Instead of a typical Bible Study in a Sunday School room or even a home, this group meets at Radnor Lake, a state park, where we trek around the paths, literally in a circle. We read the verses, we prepare our hearts, and we open our eyes to what we observe in His Creation. We truly walk and contemplate. We stop along the way to reflect on the scripture and anything that seems significant—in the verses, in our walk, in our lives.

As usual, I had Clara with me, and was a little uncertain of how she would handle a three mile hike through the woods. I started it out as I usually do on a hike—full tilt power hike, charging up the hills with determination and speed, thinking of the workout this was giving on my body. Thankfully, though, the workout finally hit my brain.

I thought about Becca’s words that life is about the journey, and about seasons. That we begin and end with God, so instead of just pressing forward for the goal, maybe we should reflect on the process, and on the seasons of our lives. In many respects, we do merely walk in circles throughout our life…

I thought about my daughter, and how when I was pregnant, everything was in front of me—my literal belly, the bright hope for my unborn and excitement for when she would arrive. It seemed life was all forward thinking, and even then I circled back to my past and my husband’s past to choose a name for our daughter that embraced the great women in our lives—our grandmothers, Clara and Isabel.

Once she arrived, we charged forward, and before I knew it, here I am again, walking with a literal weight on my back now—this child that can bring so much good, yet bear so much significance and responsibility. It’s funny how sometimes we carry a burden and don’t allow for help—either we don’t want it, or can’t use it. Today while walking, many offered to carry the backpack with Clara in it, but I knew that it was not a day to pass her off to a stranger, and that she needed me on that hike. Sometimes we carry our figurative burdens alone, too. Maybe sometimes it’s better if we took up the offer of a friend.

So here I am, with a “burden” on my back. We walk in silence and I soak up nature, finding peace amidst the chaos of life. We come up on a deer, and Clara excitedly points, exclaiming “hi deer!” and blowing kisses to the confused deer that stare at the contraption on my back. Her sheer enthusiasm is contagious, and we start to really walk through nature together. She hears the birds chirp and an airplane go by. We get down on the ground to look at and touch the cool moss growing on a tree.

I think about my excitement during pregnancy, and now I look at the moment I’m sharing with my daughter. Wow—I’m sharing this. Clara is seeing nature now with me, no longer nestled in my womb, but braving the big world by my side. She’s getting excited to see the trees, waving her arms in the air to sign the word. She is pointing out that the sun is peeking through the clouds. She remembered the ducks in the lake as we stood in the parking lot before we even started.

I’ve come full circle—back to that hope and anticipation of a bright future ahead—that peace in knowing I’m going to walk again through the woods with my daughter, and she’s going to show me even more “new” things. She brings me back to my own childhood; seeing beauty from a two-foot perspective. I’m starting to realize that we live life in one big circle that is created by the tiny circles we walk every moment. It’s not “two steps forward, one step back,” but it’s a journey of growth and renewal, of reflection and memories, of past lessons and pains and of future hopes and dreams.

The present is always our point in the circle-it’s our moment to embrace what is. It’s the moment where I can look forward to the future, back to the past, and also by my side to experience life with who I am with right now. It includes all aspects of me, and of God. It embraces our journey as continuously rolling, and forever giving us chances to see and know more about this God who invested so much in you and in me.

I’m thankful for my time today. My time to be alone in the woods with my thoughts, and my time to share them with the group. My time to teach my daughter about moss and leaves and birds, and her time to teach me about the depth of my love for her. Our time to slow down and look at life from a different angle, and how to open our hearts to every season of life.

Becca said “we are born to be loved, to soak that love in and then to offer love back.” What a sweet gift to be given. That love is why we have circles in our lives instead of a straight path. We go back to God’s love for our strength, to our mother’s love for affirmation, to our children’s love for hope. We continuously move and roll through life, no matter if the burden is in front of us or behind us, or even in our arms. We keep walking on our journey, and we can walk in peace that the present will continue to flow through love and life. As we roll down to the bottom of our circles of life, know that the next journey is back up again.

It’s All Around Us!

Posted: April 18, 2008 in Mama Says Namaste
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What is your bright light? I was looking through my emails, and through a chain of links, ended up on a website called BringLight.com. It got me thinking yet again about the power of positive thinking. It seems the past two weeks I’ve been inundated with emails from poor souls who don’t have any passion in their lives, or don’t know how to dream. How did we all become stuck in a world with no hope?
Do we really have no hope, or is the problem in our own perspective? Life balance is teetering on a tightrope of work, work, work in our society. We get caught up in doing all the time and sooner or later, the day has flown by and it’s merely been a day of survival. Community gets thrown by the wayside as we hurry to get our errands run, our chores done, and the bills paid. When we get together with friends, our talks quickly go to the long list of “to-dos” and becomes a competition on who has put more hours in at work, or has the wildest child, or anything else that puts us in the martyr role.
Our tunnel of work becomes so long that all we see are the dark items on each side—we lose sight of our “bright light” at the end—the reasons we do what we do.
What is the goal of making money? What is the goal of buying groceries? Working? Carting kids to events? Lugging the whole family to church? Isn’t it all to achieve a better, more fulfilling life? Isn’t it all to embrace the “bright light” in all of our lives? Our children, our spouses, our friends, our parents…the music we love, the nature we relish, the time spent learning about new places, people and causes… don’t we all have something to be thankful for?
When you look outside your window this spring, and see the green leaves and the buds blooming, how can you say there is no hope? Even the plants are excited about the new day. When you are surrounded by negativity, your tunnel gets longer and longer as your bright light of hopes gets muddied in the mess. But remember, no matter where you are, there are rays of sunshine peeking through, both figuratively and literally. Take the time to notice them.Embrace each bright light in your life, no matter how small…you’ll find the more you notice them, the brighter those lights become.