Posts Tagged ‘ladybug girl’

 

On to line #2 of Our Family Creed: We Believe…we were brought together to support and care for one another.


When I asked Ladybug Girl who was on her team, she immediately said “my sister, Mommy and Daddy.”  When I asked her what she would do if Snugglepuppy fell down, she said she’d help her up.  When I asked her why we were brought together, she told me Jesus made us for each other.  It’s simple. We look out for each other. We lift each other up (sometimes literally).  We are a team.

My interview with a three-year-old doesn’t necessarily bring forth deep thoughts, but even at a young age she knows that we aren’t just a hierarchy; we are a full team.  It’s not just that Mommy is the nurturer and Daddy manages the bills…our kids see parents who work together to ensure that not only are the finances under control, but that our house, our home flows smoothly…we work together to cook meals, clean the house, play and interact with our children…and the kids do their part as well–helping clean up, wiping the table, and spending special time with each family member individually…

Every person is important to the family, and every person likes to feel needed.  Giving my children responsibility to think outside of themselves and consider the needs and desires of others is crucial to the family as a whole.  Snugglepuppy doesn’t just need a diaper changed…she needs the emotional support that only her big sister brings.  She thrives in watching her sister, and Ladybug Girl launches to her highest form when she has that admiring audience.

We all step up in this family.  We all have roles to play, and we all encourage each other and lift each other up.  When we see a passion in one of us, how can the rest of us support that? How can you encourage the things you each love? Security is not just in having physical fulfillment; it’s about that feeling of being a part of something bigger.  My girls are not out in this world alone–they have a whole family backing them, and we can descend like army ants to support one another in life.  I feel this does  more than just give them security in knowing we’re there for one another…it also creates confidence and wisdom–those hair-brained ideas we all come across in our lives aren’t for us to digest alone, but thrown out to the whole family to digest and act as a sounding board of loving support and accountability.  We as a group are the first set of peers and mentors we experience on a daily basis–so what are we doing every day to lift up, encourage, and motivate each other?

What are you doing in your family?  How do you define support for your daughter?  Your son?  Your spouse?

Each week I want to address one line from our Family Creed.  The first line states “We believe in living deeply, laughing often, and loving always.”  The key element to me in this post is that second action–laughing often.  Laughter does so much more than just feel good on the inside.  It lifts any heaviness in the air, it allows you to reset your attitude, and it’s just plain fun to do.

When you live life full of passion–when you truly “live deeply”, you embrace the moment.  Back in college I read Eckhardt Tolle’s The Power of Now.  It talked about savoring the moment–truly living in the present and not wallowing in the past, or spending so much time focusing on the future that we forget about today.  It’s easy to do, especially with kids…you spend so much time planning…what to cook for dinner, where do kids need to go tomorrow, what work project is due next, what vacations are we going to do and what can we budget to handle next month, etc., etc.  Why is it that we only allow ourselves to live deeply and savor the moment when we’re on a scheduled vacation? What if we took a “mini vacation” every day…taking a moment to breathe deeply…and truly live deeply.

So, going back to laughing often.  If we are living deeply…with passion and gusto, if we allow ourselves to feel the present moment, we then have a choice.  How are those moments going to affect us?  When the kids are cranky, the bills are stacked up, and there are 300 emails to answer (maybe this is just me), how can we cope and actually enjoy ourselves?  It’s the old cliche- when life hands you lemons, make lemonade.  If you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em.  Whatever you want to say, the bottom line is, give a little.  Figure out how to make yourself laugh.  When I have the days where kids basically prevent me from accomplishing anything else, I figure “what the heck- let’s have some fun.”  And those are days I choose to laugh.  Often.  About anything.  Even if I have to force it at first, I need to let go and understand that some days you just have to let things slide.  Sometimes it’s not worth the battle.  Sometimes you have to remember that living deeply isn’t always about cramming everything into every moment…sometimes it’s about letting some stuff slide so you can truly enjoy the things that matter.  The things you love.  The people you love.  The people, that no matter what, you choose to love always.  So embrace them, both literally and figuratively.  Let go of the nit-picky details, order a pizza, laugh a lot, and go back to the family you love.  Always.

Growing up with the family I have, having basic rules for the house just weren’t enough.  Time-outs included listening to motivational tapes by Zig Ziglar (I know his voice in my sleep now) and laying out goals for the future.  Mom’s top priority was to create a “haven of peace” in our home.  Going with the 48 Days philosophy that to truly succeed you must first know yourself and know your mission, our family had a mission statement we taped on the wall:

In a safe place, people are kind.  Sarcasm, fighting, back-biting and name-calling were exceptions.  Kindness, consideration and forgiveness are the way of life.

In a safe place there is laughter.  Not just the canned laughter of television, but real laughter that comes from sharing meaningful work and play.

In a safe place there are rules.  The rules are few and fair and are made by the people who live and work there, including the children.

In a safe place people listen to one another.  They care about one another and show that they do. 

Please God, make this a safe place. ~Mary MacCracken

What wall, you wonder? The bathroom one, of course!  Where else do you go several times daily and sit/stand still without anything else to do but read something?  If you ever want your family to memorize something, I’m telling you, this is the way to do it!  (And yes, I wrote the above from memory).

Now that my girls are getting older (1 and 3), it’s time that we start really laying out the principles we want to live by.  Although I cherish the mission statement I grew up with, I was eager to find our own.  We do have our basic rules laid out by Ladybug Girl:

But a mission statement is more than that–it’s not just going over all of the “no’s”….it’s about addressing the “yeses”  the things that are most important to us as a family.  I was browsing through a random magazine one day and found it–I don’t know who to trace this to, but this is the essence of what I desire for our home, and what we have chosen to capture as our “family creed.”  This is not only in our bathroom, but on the fridge and in my wallet.

Here is what it says:

Over the next few blogs, I want to hash out each one of these statements above–to address why we chose to have them in our creed and what it means to me.  I’m excited about this and I’m eager to hear about yours.

Do you have a family mission statement (or creed)?

How do I condense into a short blog the journey we have been on with our eldest and the long road of discipline?  I’ll give it my best shot here…
As you can see from the last blog, temper tantrums have been my life.  It got to the point of 2-3 hour meltdowns and tantrums at bedtime, us walking on eggshells, not sure when the next tantrum would erupt, and our poor child was just not fun to be around.  Enter me lamenting on Facebook, which led to a comment from my brother, father of seven, which led to many conversations with my brother and sister-in-law on my wonderful, trying, brilliant, and very strong-willed little girl.
They recommended a book, Train Up a Child, by Michael and Debi Pearl.  Now…word of precaution.  This book is incredibly fundamental.  It’s very traditional.  You really, reallyneed to take it with a big grain of salt.  A large, large grain.  Um, so large that I’m nervous recommending it.  But…this book changed our lives.

My synopsis of what I learned…raising children isn’t about just disciplining bad behavior–it’s about training and correcting them so they thrive–so I am not merely reactive to my child’s behavior but proactive in promoting the positive behavior that is important in raising future adults that are thoughtful, respectful and a joy to be around.
Spanking gets a bad rap. I completely understand why.  Seeing the parents who react in anger, who swipe up their kid and hit him on the bottom at every wayward behavior, kids that learn that you hit to get your point across…I definitely had reservations on ever spanking, even though I was spanked as a kid.  But then again…I  did get spanked as a kid.  And nope, haven’t been through therapy because of it.  I don’t actually remember anything negative from it, other than me not wanting to get in trouble.
My top tips for effective spanking vs. abuse…they have to know it’s coming.  It sounds awful, but we talk about the spanking and why she’s getting it before it happens–she knows it’s coming and she has to accept her punishment–no kicking and screaming while I hold her down.  Reason for this?  If she can’t accept a consequence for her behavior at three, how can I expect her to accept it when she’s sixteen and I have less control over it?
Next, we use a spoon…dubbed “the long arm of the law”.  Why?  Because it isn’t our hand that does the harm, first off.  It’s also something that causes a sting on the surface without lasting damage.  You don’t hear of trips to the hospital because of a wooden spoon spanking.  Using your hand to spank a bottom can damage a kids’ spine if done too hard, and also, in my opinion, is way too convenient…which means it’s more likely that you will spank in anger.
Which leads me to my biggest point.  A spanking is not to be done in anger.  Never, ever hit when you as the parent are mad.  If you retaliate to their bad behavior by displaying your own, then what you’ve passed on to your child is not the importance of good behavior, but that anything goes–it’s just a matter of who’s bigger (and who wins).
And always end with a positive-because spanking is just a minor part of discipline. We use time outs, breaks in the “reflection chair”, spanking, distractions, incentives and talking things over.  We don’t immediately rush to the spoon if a break from the situation will do. There are certain times when we have to consider that she is three–she doesn’t have a perfect grasp on why she feels the way she does (heck, I have a hard time grasping why I feel certain ways sometimes!)  There are times when lack of sleep, allergies, or high emotions take over and a hug is the best preventative discipline for her.
What it ultimately boils down to is that our goal as parents is to empower Ladybug Girl to be the best person she can be–and that means teaching her to understand her limits and how to cope in this world in a positive way.  As a child getting a grasp on her emotions, we as parents stand as her sounding board and hope to impart what we know and help her to create her own path with a firm foundation.
It’s not about spanking.  It’s not about discipline.  It’s all about training…or the more socially acceptable term–”raising” a child.  I want to be her safe haven–I want to be her listening ear and gentle guide.  I want to be there for her–literally and figuratively.  Most importantly, I want her to know she’s loved.  No matter what, I love her, and I love her enough to push her–to be the best Ladybug Girl she can be–one that has a good grasp of the world and how to be a positive light in it.
I don’t have it all figured out, and I can guarantee that both girls will throw me for a loop countless more times in the next twenty years (and beyond).  But I think all we can do as parents is the best we know at the time.  And right now I feel at peace with where we are at with discipline.  Since Nathan and I “laid down the law,” we have gotten a child that constantly comes and gives us hugs and tells us she loves us, who dances and sings 80% of time, and who is a genuinely happy kid.  The more clear boundaries we’ve laid the more secure she’s become, and I’m amazed at the little girl who’s emerging–she’s not a toddler anymore.  She has a better grasp on things than I give her credit for, and she keeps us laughing most of the time with her funny precociousness.
I feel the weight of parenting–the importance of what we do right now setting patterns for life, and we’re very, very careful about making sure we’re doing what is in Ladybug Girl’s (and now Snugglepuppy’s) best interest.  We all fail, and Nathan and I have our moments of frustrations, but the girls are rich in an abundance of loving support.  We have accountability all around us–we have so much family invested in these children that I’m confident that even if we don’t have it all figured out, we’ll be the best parents we know how to be, and we’ll have plenty of support to keep us in check if it were ever a negative effect on our children.
I’m so thankful for everyone in our lives that invests in our girls-grandparents, uncles and aunts, godparents, teachers and coaches…I’m immensely grateful for every positive influence in my girls’ lives, and I know that regardless of us having this whole parenting thing figured out, my girls will always feel our love.

Today was a day when I wanted to throw in my mommy towel and beg to go…oh wait, I am home.  And really, this whole week I’ve wished I were somewhere else.  It’s a “calgon, take me away” week where it seems all I’ve done is deal with one bomb after another.  My days are spent creeping around the landmines that are my toddler’s fragile emotions, hoping she doesn’t erupt into one more tantrum, and softly easing my baby down begging she won’t startle awake, screaming because she’s not being held or fed.  Again.

It’s funny how, before hubby and kids, some women crave being needed…and then you have children, and everyone is pulling at you all the time–being needed going into overdrive. Then, the slow process of your children growing up and slowly “needing” you less and less…  you take for granted what you have and the grass always seems to be greener on that other side.  Thankfully, we know that life is full of phases, and what seems rough now will eventually phase on.

I’m in one big phase of learning patience right now.  One of the best movie lines was from Evan Almighty–between the wife and “God” (Morgan Freeman)–in it God says:
Let me ask you something.  If someone prays for patience, do you think God gives them patience?  Or does he give them the opportunity to be patient?  If they pray for courage, does God give them courage, or does he give them opportunities to be courageous?  If someone prayed for their family to be closer, you think God zaps them with warm, fuzzy feelings?  Or does he give them opportunities to love each other?”
(you can read about this scene and a discussion here)

Well boy am I ever being given opportunities to learn patience and how to love my girls right now.  What is going well for Ladybug Girl now?  If it’s not a temper tantrum it’s waking up in the night, if it’s not that, it’s being clingy and not getting enough of me, if it’s not that, it’s her not wanting to share.  Anything.  (That includes me).

Today started off so nice.  We played this morning, went to Target and picked out gifts for a birthday party, ate a nice lunch together (and Ladybug Girl ate so well!) and she went down for a nap like a saint.  We picked out a matchbox car at Target that she would get when she woke up from her nap if she didn’t throw a fit. I put her down, and finally have a chance to work.  Yeah right.  Cue Snugglepuppy.  I do the eat, wake, sleep routine, so she was hungry.  Although she usually somewhat falls asleep while nursing, she is wide awake when finished.  It’s hard for me to do much on the computer while I’m nursing, although when I set up at the table I can manage.  When I’m done she’s fine.  As long as I’m 100% focused on her–either holding her or engaging in play with her.  Great for Snugglepuppy playtime.  Not great for accomplishing anything with work.  I get her to sleep and get a full twenty minutes of work in!  By this point it’s nursing time again. Then playtime.  Round 2.  Finally get her to sleep.  Cue Ladybug Girl.

It’s now been only an hour and a half since Ladybug Girl went down.  When she woke up, she was just flat disagreeable, announcing her waking by wailing at the top of her lungs for no apparent reason.  Snugglepuppy of course started screaming to be fed at the exact same time.  I went in to give Ladybug Girl love and praise her for getting a smiley face for going down for nap so well. She proceeded to whine and say she doesn’t want a smiley face.
“I want a frownnnnny face.”
“Don’t you want to get your car we picked out that you get if you have a smiley face?”
“I don’t want nothiiiiiiiing!”
“You’re being awfully whiney…maybe we should just go watch a little bit of a movie since you
went to sleep so well.  We can sit together while I nurse Snugglepuppy.”
“Okaaaaay…….I DON’T WANNA WATCH A MOVIE!!!”
(At this point I’m nursing El and can’t get up)
“Ladybug Girl, you’re having a hard time not whining.  You need to go to your room until you can come
out happy.  Go get all your whines out and come see me when you’re happy, please.”
“Okaaaaay….(makes it to the kitchen, slams herself down on the floor) I DON’T WANNA BE HAPPY!!”

So now I stand up while still nursing Snugglepuppy (so she doesn’t erupt into her banshee scream) and go in where Ladybug Girl is lying face first on the floor screaming.  I calmly help her stand up and walk herself to her room where she again throws herself face-first on the carpet in there.  Then I give her some time to calm down.  A full 45 minutes later she’s winding down some, and I know my Ladybug Girl well enough to know that she can keep this up for the rest of the day.  So, I wait for a moment of calm and go in and ask her if she wants to be happy.  She does.  I let her know I didn’t like her behavior and what she could do differently, and that crisis is over.

Of course, now that these crises are over, work still hasn’t been completed, dinner hasn’t even been thought of, (although I managed to clean up the kitchen while Ladybug Girl was screaming and I was holding Snugglepuppy with one hand), and Nathan is due home in 30 minutes.  So what do I do?  We read a book.  If you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em.  Hmm.

I have these moments where it all gets to me.  I’m so thankful I have Nathan to help me–my deepest sympathy to those parents that have to handle parenthood alone.  It’s a tough road sometimes, and I’m only 2 and a half years into it!  Thankfully, I know we’ll go through phases.  Phases of tough times with non-sleeping babies and toddlers with tantrums, and phases of cuteness that we saw at 8 months to one and a half with Ladybug Girl, and elementary school years of precociousness before they hit the scary teenager (and even preteen) phase…  And thankfully there are moments even in the midst of phases, where Snugglepuppy’s whole face lights up and she’s just moments from erupting into her first big belly laugh, where Ladybug Girl wraps her little arms around me and hugs me and tell me “your my favoritist mommy in the whole wide world”, where Snugglepuppy “converses” with me with her coos, and Ladybug Girl dances like a princess naked throughout the house.

These are the moments that get me through the ugly phases.  These are the times that make me see through a child’s eyes.  Snugglepuppy knows the most comforting place for her is in her mommy’s arms–that’s why she wants it all the time.  Ladybug Girl can get just as overwhelmed by hearing Snugglepuppy’s cries as we can in the car.  She wants mommy’s attention, too.  How can a 2-year-old cope with the fact that she likes this new sister deal but she doesn’t want to share her mommy and all of the attention?

There are times when I whine and complain–where I lose my patience and my temper and want to just get away from it all.  And there are times where it’s okay for me to vent that.  But there are other times when I can’t.  When I’m with my kids, I can’t.  And it’s dawning on me that what I’m teaching them now is the same thing I’m constantly reminding myself.  There are times where you can let your feelings out–but you have to learn how to do it in a positive way–and in an appropriate place and time.  Unlike Dorothy, I can’t just click my heels and be somewhere else.  Ladybug Girl’s outbursts, well, I feel that same way too!  It’s my job to help her handle them in a way that works.

The weight of my parenting job is heavy now, because I’m seeing that these moments now–these emotional outbursts and figuring out ways to cope are the foundations our girls will lean on for the rest of their lives. I want to make sure they are heard.  I want to make sure they feel safe and loved.  I want them to know that they need to respect others with their actions, but that doesn’t mean to bottle their emotions in.  I think we can do this.  I think we’ll get through this.  Along the way, though, I know we’ll all be learning.  Ladybug Girl has a “reflection chair” that she may fall back on when she’s in her twenties and needs a place to sit and reflect.  She’s learning that Mommy and Daddy will always listen to her, but when we say no, we mean it.  She’s learning to respect kids and animals by the Golden Rule.  And I’m learning that parenting is hard stuff, but no matter how many “Dorothy” moments I have throughout the day, I’m hit with way too many moments I cherish with each of my girls to ever give this parenting thing up.

I’m reading a book right now– “Who’s Got Your Back” by Keith Ferrazzi, and he states, “We’re all entrepreneurs of our own ideas, whether we own our own companies or work for someone else. We’re all leaders in our own lives–with or colleagues, with our employees, with our kids, and in our communities. Each on of us is a salesperson of ourselves and our opinions…”

It’s such a crazy concept, but I hope there is a time in everyone’s life that they go through toddlerhood again; that time where you learn that life is about choices, and that you have control!

As I deal with my own “wonderful” two-year-old, I see how she is testing the waters of independence, challenging social norms, and questioning the reasoning behind Mommy’s demands. And I wonder, isn’t life about being your own entrepreneur?

Embrace challenges, question “rules”, know that your ideas have merit, and be the best salesperson of yourself that you can. You have so much to offer this world, and I hope you embrace the opportunity to share your finest light with others.

What great things are you contributing to the everyday world?

A few weeks ago, I was asked for an interview. Wow–now why would someone want to interview me? Kendra Tilman, founder of http://www.goodlifediva.com/ has come to know me because of 48 Days, and she’s read my blogs on the NET. She asked to interview me as a work-from-home mom…it was so much fun to do, and I was able to give great props to both 48 Days and KEZA. The name of her website is Good Life Diva, and their mission is this: Our purpose at Good Life is to help mothers match their calling and their careers and obtain a quality of life that meets their family’s personal needs. Mothers all over the world need support and role models in this area.

Wow–what an honor. It meant a lot that she asked me for an interview…and once again, as I sat there as a role model for other moms, I was reminded myself about how much I, too should always be open to learn and grow. It’s so much easier to give advice to others than it is to live it yourself! As I heard myself talking about how to manage working from home and prioritize your life, I was thinking in the back of my head “if only I could do this better!”
I can’t say my life is perfect. I certainly can’t say that working from home is for every mom, or that it’s even easy for me. I have hard days, and I have days where I desperately reach out for family or friends to help with Clara because I have too much work to do. I have other days where I simply have to put work aside and focus on my child and our home. But, when Kendra asked what what the “Good Life” was to me, I was happy to say “I’m living it!”
The “Good Life”, to me, doesn’t mean that every day is perfect, that I’m basking in sunshine, or that I’m rolling in dough. It doesn’t mean that my house is spotless and not a drop of yuckiness comes out of some orifice on Clara’s face. But it means that I’m really, really happy. When I look at the overall path my life has taken, I’m happy with where I am. I couldn’t ask for a better life–I’m in love with my husband and he loves me back, I have a daughter that needs to “hold” me and tells me “I give you hug and kiss” every day. I have a roof over my head, and warm bed at night, and peace in my heart. I have a supportive family–both through blood and through marriage–that is involved in my life and in my daughter’s life. I’m blessed beyond measure in the things that stay close to my heart.

The weather changes, income levels may come and go, health is sometimes good, sometime not. I get stressed, tired, cranky and upset. So does my husband, and so does our daughter. But overall, we have love. And being in the present moment–embracing our good times, and knowing our trials will always pass–it makes me relish this good life I get to call mine.
Please take a moment to watch the interview, and please comment with what insights you may have for me and/or for others!
The interview is broken into two 10 minute segments–hope you can watch it!
Here is straight from her newsletter:
Hello, Good Life DIVAS! My interview with Ashley Logsdon of 48 Days.com is now online! As a WAHM (work at home mom) she understands the demands of having both a career and a family. In addition to discussing her family and work life, she also talks about an amazing organization she volunteers with that is impacting the lives of mothers in Rwanda. Watch her interview. I guarantee it will be worth your time. I know you know other women who could use the resources we provide on our site. SHARE them with all the mothers in your life who are or want to live the Good Life!

We’re having a riverside baptism for Ladybug Girl, where members of the church and our family and friends will gather on a farm and have a laid back event honoring seven precious children and committing to raise them to know God and what it means to follow Him. I was asked to write a 1-2 sentence blessing to be incorporated into the program.

How do you condense all your hopes and dreams for your precious child into a mere two sentences (one sentence is completely a joke for me–17 pages, no problem). How can you convey your heart–the one you wear on the outside when you have a child–and all of your deepest longings for them to understand your depth of love for them…can they ever grasp the incredible love of being a parent until they are a parent themselves?

I want her to live with the zest for life like I do now…it’s funny, what we want for our children is to get to the mature realizations that we now, as adult parents, understand and appreciate. It’s all of those things we learned by going through the dreaded teenage and young adult years. It’s hard to allow a child to go through situations that you know the answers to…to experience puppy love knowing her heart may be broken…to try being a skater because his friends are, knowing he isn’t, or making fun of a kid, not understanding that next week these same “friends” will make fun of her… in the struggle to find themselves in life, kids need to be able to experience all the emotions in life–the same emotions we went through that has strengthened us to be what we are today.

My desire for Ladybug Girl is not to limit her or protect her from pain (although it would be oh so nice!). Instead, I want her to embrace life. To be able to see through the drama and pain of teenager-dom and see that there is something she can learn through it all. I want her, above all, to always be teachable. So how can I do that? All I can do is walk with her on her journey. For a short time she’ll look to me to guide her. My goal during these childhood years is to show her security–in our home, in God’s love, in our relationship. These are constants to fall back on when she walks independently. Then, for a while, I’ll basically walk by her side where my input may or may not be acknowledged (but I will still be a constant). Then, it’s time for her to lead her own way. I will always be there for her, and my prayer is that I can help her see the roses in the world despite the thorns.

My blessing for her is written out today. Tomorrow it is in my heart, and every day for the rest of my life I will pour blessings on this incredible child God has placed in our family. I want her safe in the knowledge that we are family. What a precious word to encompass those who are bonded by love, not always blood, but always love and commitment to grow and learn together—there’s always more to life to embrace, and it’s so much sweeter when you share it.

“May you always see the world with open eyes and open arms, embracing the beauty of God’s creation with the joy you have today. We pray for wisdom and discernment as we walk with you, that we may encourage and promote a desire to continually learn and grow in God’s love.”

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Alright, what started out as an email I’ve decided to make into a blog posting…because I want people to be able to respond–so here goes:

My disclaimer here is that I’m not sending this with the intent to get others to do exactly as we do, or to say that people are wrong for doing vaccines, or anything else. Honestly, I’m eager to hear responses because I don’t feel I’m an expert on this subject (and if you ARE an expert, please respond, and then we’ll let other experts respond as well and compare it all!).

This is the latest in the news regarding the vaccine hype: http://www.ajc.com/metro/content/health/stories/2008/03/06/autism_0306.html. Here is the pro-vaccine news story on the same case: http://cfc.wjla.com/videoondemand.cfm?id=10273.
This holds true to what I think—I’m not at all the type of parent to get wrapped up in the fear tactics the mediau puts out there, and I don’t think that autism is just caused by vaccines. Autism was around before vaccines, and it has been proven to be a genetic disorder. BUT…we are seeing more and more cases where people are connecting disorders in their children to contributing factors in a vaccine. My concern is not that vaccines necessarily cause issues, but that they exacerbate possible underlying tendencies that then develop into full-fledged issuessuch as autism.I just pulled these stats about the Vaccine Compensation Law here: http://www.hrsa.gov/vaccinecompensation/statistics_report.htm.
It takes 2-3 years for the files to actually be awarded, so looking at the chart that shows cases that were awarded and dismissed, technically in ’05 we were dealing with around 82 people that actually filed and won a case…and going just with the numbers of those who have won vs. those that were dismissed, wow—JUST in 2007 (which is basically 2005 complaints), the gov’t awarded $91,449,433.89. Yikes. Below that chart it actually breaks these down by specific vaccines—this is very helpful and I’ll be studying this more!!

I’ll be open about where Nathan and I stand for right now. Ladybug Girl has not had any vaccines yet, and we’re not anti-vaccine, but we want to use extreme caution. We have read numerous reports where waiting until they are 2 and spacing out the vaccines has been very positive—I have a great article about that from my doctor (email me if you didn’t get it and want it). For LG, we’re going to spend from now until next year really researching the vaccines that are out there—especially with the latest newsbreak this April (first link above), I wouldn’t be surprised if some of the vaccines changed. When LG is two, we will pick and choose the ones that are the most important to get her vaccinated (i.e. polio) and forgo others that we don’t see as a good idea (i.e. HPV, chicken pox).

Ultimately the decision is the parents’, and that’s a scary thing, as you are responsible for the decision you make, and there is NO black or white on this subject—there are risks either way you look at it. Know that the decision is completely in YOUR hands, though—all you have to do is write a sheet saying you don’t agree with vaccines for religious or medical reasons and your child is exempt for life. Definitely not to say this is what everyone should do, but just to let you know that just because a school says it’s necessary doesn’t mean your child can’t go there…(and I’m proven wrong in the first comment below).

Vaccines were established for a reason, and the disease outbreaks we had generations ago in America are virtually obsolete. (again, proven wrong on this!) There is much to be said for them. I would definitely look at both sides of the coin and be able to make an educated decision!Please know that this is merely what I’m pulling together—I obviously don’t know everything, and I’m still learning about this. And I know that you can always find evidence to support any opinion online—for as many “facts” proving that vaccines have NO correlation with autism, for example, there are that many websites devoted to proving just the opposite! Every one of you will make your own decisions about what you think—this is just where Nathan and I are at, so take it as pure information to help you make your own decision about vaccines!

Please comment–I’m posting this on my blog because I know this is a controversial topic, and it helps for us to educate ourselves on it! There are many contributing factors as to why all of this is on the rise…is it really about the medicine, or because we are lawsuit crazy? Are there really that many more kids who have autism, or merely that many that are being properly diagnosed now? Are vaccines at this point solely about preventing the diseases, or have politics and money taken over (a typical claim of anti-vaccine people). I’m not sure of all of the answers, but I’m eager to learn more about it!