Posts Tagged ‘heart’

>This is it.  My last post of our Family Creed.   The final summary says “We Believe…in one another, this family, this home.”  Ahhh, home.   What does that mean to you?  The cliche “home is where the heart is” resonates pretty strongly with me.  I see elaborate houses and tiny apartments, and yet when I go home, it’s not to a place, but to the people.  My husband is home to me.  My children are hometo me.  They are:

  • My calm – in the midst of a stormy life
  • My laughter – when life throws a curve ball
  • My comfort – because sometimes life isn’t comfy and I want my “security blanket”
  • My challenge – to learn and grow with the ever changing beings around me
  • My strength – when I question who or where I am
  • My inspiration – on discovering the beauty around me
  • My motivation – to press on and “change the world”
  • My peace – this feels right.  this is what family is all about
  • My belief – that there is good in this world and the God put it in each of us
  • My love – my overwhelming love for them that reminds me every day that life is worth living

My husband and  my children are my home and so much more.  I believe in what we have here, and I hope you can find home in your own life, too!

Line #3 of our Family Creed is “We believe in celebrating together–our faith, our heritage, our traditions.”
This is such a complex line that it’s too much for one blog.  I started writing and saw that I would never make it past the first comma without the need for another blog.  So, line #3 is divided even more, down to the key points–Faith, Heritage, and Tradition.

Celebrating our heritage comes through in so many ways–we are who we somewhat because of where we come from.  Although our past doesn’t define us, our perspective of the world can largely be shaped by the faith, heritage and traditions we choose to hold on to.

We have a rich heritage that includes Amish, Native Americans, and confederate soldiers.  My grandparents on my father’s side were raised Amish–horses and buggies, no electricity, thirteen and sixteen children, the whole caboodle.  My mother’s side of the family brought the Welsh and the Native Americans…the story goes that an Englishman came and swept a Native American squaw off her feet and they lived happily ever after. We still carry the olive skin and dark hair and eyes from this branch of the family tree.

My husband’s history is the deep South.  His grandmother can trace their descendants back to the Mayflower.  There are colonels and belles and even Thomas Edison in his family tree.  His relatives had a love for education and nature, and there are many foresters and naturalists in his family tree.   On his father’s side, there is a hard work ethic that came from starting from nothing and creating a family, and although the history isn’t as known on this side, the heritage they’ve passed down is still just as rich.

So what does this heritage imply for our children?  My husband brings a love of history and a passion for the South…not the “redneck” stereotype, but the true Southern gentleman.  He shares with his children all of the names of the native Southern plants; what they are, what they do, how you can survive off the wilderness…  His grandfathers taught him the importance of hard work and doing things right so that working, in my husband’s mind, is second nature.  He brings work and play together as he truly enjoys what he does, whether it’s his work with 48 Days or playing “Mr. Fix-it” around the house.  His parents fostered his imagination in a way where I am continually amazed by his creativity and the amazing things he comes up with–his time on the floor with our girls in creative play is incredible to watch.

The greatest thing from my heritage is from my Amish grandparents…this was what we carried on the most, and made the greatest impact on our whole family.  My father’s parents taught us the “best of” the Amish, in my mind.  We learned how to do things from scratch…sew, bake, grow a garden and take it from a seed to canning, applesauce, or a fresh rhubarb crisp.  I learned about farming on my uncle’s farm, and learned about flowers from following my grandpa around.  Grandma taught me how to make a perfect stitch, and that if it’s not done right, it’s not done at all.

My grandparents instilled a heritage that, although they chose to leave the Amish ways when they married, the core values and ethics flowed over to their children, their children’s children, and now on to their great-grandchildren.  I could go on and on about the people they were and the impression the made on our whole family.  They welcomed my mother, a naive “worldly” fashion model, and embraced her as one of their own…and in doing so exemplified the love and openness I admire so much as a reflection of the faith we celebrate as well.  My grandmother made such an impact on me I named my daughter after her–not only are we passing on the heritage of our family, we are passing on the family names.  (My paternal grandparents’ engagement picture)

Both of our girls are named after our grandmothers–three grandmas honored, and eight legacies in that generation that we have to thank for the heritage we know now.  We celebrate the history that is in our childhood hearts–the elements of our past and our ancestor’s past that has been stored in our souls and passed down to each generation.  We remember and relish certain things from childhood that become etched in our memory as important…and then we pass it on to our own children.

A Princeton definition of heritage is “practices that are handed down from the past by tradition”…  The practices and stories I learned from my grandparents and my husband did from his have created the crucial foundation for our own definition of family.  We are blessed to have our heritage, and the next post will go further into the traditions we’ve brought into our own home because of it.

What is your heritage?  How do you pass that down in your family?

 

On to line #2 of Our Family Creed: We Believe…we were brought together to support and care for one another.


When I asked Ladybug Girl who was on her team, she immediately said “my sister, Mommy and Daddy.”  When I asked her what she would do if Snugglepuppy fell down, she said she’d help her up.  When I asked her why we were brought together, she told me Jesus made us for each other.  It’s simple. We look out for each other. We lift each other up (sometimes literally).  We are a team.

My interview with a three-year-old doesn’t necessarily bring forth deep thoughts, but even at a young age she knows that we aren’t just a hierarchy; we are a full team.  It’s not just that Mommy is the nurturer and Daddy manages the bills…our kids see parents who work together to ensure that not only are the finances under control, but that our house, our home flows smoothly…we work together to cook meals, clean the house, play and interact with our children…and the kids do their part as well–helping clean up, wiping the table, and spending special time with each family member individually…

Every person is important to the family, and every person likes to feel needed.  Giving my children responsibility to think outside of themselves and consider the needs and desires of others is crucial to the family as a whole.  Snugglepuppy doesn’t just need a diaper changed…she needs the emotional support that only her big sister brings.  She thrives in watching her sister, and Ladybug Girl launches to her highest form when she has that admiring audience.

We all step up in this family.  We all have roles to play, and we all encourage each other and lift each other up.  When we see a passion in one of us, how can the rest of us support that? How can you encourage the things you each love? Security is not just in having physical fulfillment; it’s about that feeling of being a part of something bigger.  My girls are not out in this world alone–they have a whole family backing them, and we can descend like army ants to support one another in life.  I feel this does  more than just give them security in knowing we’re there for one another…it also creates confidence and wisdom–those hair-brained ideas we all come across in our lives aren’t for us to digest alone, but thrown out to the whole family to digest and act as a sounding board of loving support and accountability.  We as a group are the first set of peers and mentors we experience on a daily basis–so what are we doing every day to lift up, encourage, and motivate each other?

What are you doing in your family?  How do you define support for your daughter?  Your son?  Your spouse?

Each week I want to address one line from our Family Creed.  The first line states “We believe in living deeply, laughing often, and loving always.”  The key element to me in this post is that second action–laughing often.  Laughter does so much more than just feel good on the inside.  It lifts any heaviness in the air, it allows you to reset your attitude, and it’s just plain fun to do.

When you live life full of passion–when you truly “live deeply”, you embrace the moment.  Back in college I read Eckhardt Tolle’s The Power of Now.  It talked about savoring the moment–truly living in the present and not wallowing in the past, or spending so much time focusing on the future that we forget about today.  It’s easy to do, especially with kids…you spend so much time planning…what to cook for dinner, where do kids need to go tomorrow, what work project is due next, what vacations are we going to do and what can we budget to handle next month, etc., etc.  Why is it that we only allow ourselves to live deeply and savor the moment when we’re on a scheduled vacation? What if we took a “mini vacation” every day…taking a moment to breathe deeply…and truly live deeply.

So, going back to laughing often.  If we are living deeply…with passion and gusto, if we allow ourselves to feel the present moment, we then have a choice.  How are those moments going to affect us?  When the kids are cranky, the bills are stacked up, and there are 300 emails to answer (maybe this is just me), how can we cope and actually enjoy ourselves?  It’s the old cliche- when life hands you lemons, make lemonade.  If you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em.  Whatever you want to say, the bottom line is, give a little.  Figure out how to make yourself laugh.  When I have the days where kids basically prevent me from accomplishing anything else, I figure “what the heck- let’s have some fun.”  And those are days I choose to laugh.  Often.  About anything.  Even if I have to force it at first, I need to let go and understand that some days you just have to let things slide.  Sometimes it’s not worth the battle.  Sometimes you have to remember that living deeply isn’t always about cramming everything into every moment…sometimes it’s about letting some stuff slide so you can truly enjoy the things that matter.  The things you love.  The people you love.  The people, that no matter what, you choose to love always.  So embrace them, both literally and figuratively.  Let go of the nit-picky details, order a pizza, laugh a lot, and go back to the family you love.  Always.