Posts Tagged ‘goals’

What Do You REALLY Know?

Posted: July 1, 2011 in Mama Says Namaste
Tags: , , , , , , , ,
0

>The other evening I was chatting with my best girl friend about our lives, and a revelation hit me. As a woman, especially, I can get so stuck on preparing for the future and what I am supposed to do that I can miss the major point of it all. When I was younger, I looked at what I wanted to do with my life, what degree I was going to get, who I was going to marry, if I was going to marry, etc.

I got older, went to school learning about subjects I loved, married and had children. Now it’s not just about what I am going to do, but what does the future look like for my children. I spend my days preparing:

  • I prepare/plan for at least 3 meals every day – if you add snacks in, half my day is just in planning meals! (okay, truth by told, I’m somewhat lying here. My husband happens to be an incredible cook and oftentimes it’s him preparing and cooking. However, that doesn’t help my point here. Which I’ll get to, eventually)
  • I clean the house to prepare for guests and to put myself at ease. (let’s face it – I’m a clean freak. But it makes me feel good to know that 90% of the time I can have drop-in company come over and I’m not focusing on how filthy my house is)
  • I work from home and a key focus is on product/web development. I have to think about everything we do and how it affects the future of the business.
  • I get myself cleaned up and ready for every day – I prep myself for what the day will bring.

I could go on and on about all the many things we all do to prepare for the future. Sometimes, however, the stress of not being able to anticipate the plan dominates your ability to take on the plan. Imagine packing for a trip and having no idea whether you need evening wear or hiking boots and a sweater. This, however, is sometimes how life goes…because, overall, we don’t know what the weather is going to be.

For example, the wife of an entrepreneur. A beginning entrepreneur oftentimes lives a “feast or famine” lifestyle. All businesses have their ups and downs, and when you’re calling all the shots, the downs tend to affect you in a personal way. It can be scary to not know how the future is going to play out, and I see many stay-at-home moms who are in this supportive role, yet are terrified of how the plan will play out. They stress over all the little plans of life because they are uncertain the “big plan” of the business will thrive. They crave to be able to dot their i’s and be the “hostess with the mostess” who has things under control.

Sometimes, when you’re not calling the shots in one area you feel is vital (i.e. family breadwinner) you seek to control as many other areas as possible. It gets difficult if your partner is unable to give you a play-by-play of how life is going to go!

So how do you cope? How do I cope, not being 100% on our business ventures and whether it will guarantee me the income I’d like this year? I’ll tell you what – focus on who you are vs. what your plan is. Like most of you know, 48 Days focuses on the fact that 85% of the process of finding the work you love is by looking inward. Think about this – why the focus on yourself?

The more you understand who you are, the better you are able to manage life in general. You identify your strengths, you get resources for your weaknesses. You know what is most important, and you focus on those in times of uncertainty.

I don’t know if my girls will turn on me in their teenage years. But I do know beyond a shadow of a doubt that they feel my love for them, and that they know every single day that I will listen to what they have to say.

I don’t know if working in a family business will be the best venture for my whole life. But I do know that no matter how much I love my work, family comes first, and if that is ever challenged by working together, I will find a new job.

I don’t know if my husband will be in as perfect health in his 70s as he is right now. But I do know that he is my absolute best friend and I will be by his side regardless of physical circumstance.

I don’t know if we’ll be in the same house/city/lifestyle five years from now. But I do know that no matter where I am, I’m with the people that matter most to me, and I wouldn’t trade that for the world.

We don’t know every curve in the road of our lives, so of course, we need to figure out how to also enjoy the journey. My challenge to you is to remember who you are. Remember what is important, and rely on that – you are beautiful. You are happy. You are relishing the moment as it is. You are wonderful, radiant you. Take life by the horns and ride on, knowing that no matter what life brings, you’ll be giving it your best self.

What is your best attribute that helps you embrace life?

Embrace the Moment

Posted: June 22, 2011 in Mama Says Namaste
Tags: , , , , , , , , ,
0

>
This past week I went to Roan Mountain North Carolina. Staying in a little cabin in the mountains, we had no phones, no computers, no TV, not even (gasp) music playing!! (That’s a biggie for me).

However, what we had was every single moment. It’s amazing how much time passes by sitting in front of the computer or TV. When you take it all away, you have the opportunity to see every moment. Our family needed a break from it all, to just enjoy ourselves and each other. Because, ultimately, family is what it’s all about.

Hiking up in the mountains we saw incredible views and it got me thinking about how often we are looking out to the future. I’m an advocate for positive thinking, intentionally striving to become the person you want to be, and moving toward lifelong goals.

However, don’t miss the little things. Don’t pass up the opportunity to smell the flowers, as cliche as it may sound.

Don’t miss the moment to get close with those you care about. Stoop down to see the world through your child’s eyes. Follow along with their imagination and see where it takes you. Embrace the moment.

And above all, remember that these are just moments. When they are bad (and we all have bad moments), remember that – it’s a moment. It’s fleeting. A negative thing does not have to become your identity. A moment in time is a moment to take what is and look to make it good. When it’s bad, acknowledge it and let it go.

When the moment is good, stop everything and soak it in. Truly let it engulf you. Open your heart, mind, and body to the sweetness of the now, whether it’s admiring the beauty around you, a loving embrace by someone you care about, or a moment in play with a child. This, to me, is the most important part of making those moments last.

Always Pour Your Blessings Down

Posted: August 5, 2008 in Mama Says Namaste
Tags: , , , , , , ,
1

We’re having a riverside baptism for Ladybug Girl, where members of the church and our family and friends will gather on a farm and have a laid back event honoring seven precious children and committing to raise them to know God and what it means to follow Him. I was asked to write a 1-2 sentence blessing to be incorporated into the program.

How do you condense all your hopes and dreams for your precious child into a mere two sentences (one sentence is completely a joke for me–17 pages, no problem). How can you convey your heart–the one you wear on the outside when you have a child–and all of your deepest longings for them to understand your depth of love for them…can they ever grasp the incredible love of being a parent until they are a parent themselves?

I want her to live with the zest for life like I do now…it’s funny, what we want for our children is to get to the mature realizations that we now, as adult parents, understand and appreciate. It’s all of those things we learned by going through the dreaded teenage and young adult years. It’s hard to allow a child to go through situations that you know the answers to…to experience puppy love knowing her heart may be broken…to try being a skater because his friends are, knowing he isn’t, or making fun of a kid, not understanding that next week these same “friends” will make fun of her… in the struggle to find themselves in life, kids need to be able to experience all the emotions in life–the same emotions we went through that has strengthened us to be what we are today.

My desire for Ladybug Girl is not to limit her or protect her from pain (although it would be oh so nice!). Instead, I want her to embrace life. To be able to see through the drama and pain of teenager-dom and see that there is something she can learn through it all. I want her, above all, to always be teachable. So how can I do that? All I can do is walk with her on her journey. For a short time she’ll look to me to guide her. My goal during these childhood years is to show her security–in our home, in God’s love, in our relationship. These are constants to fall back on when she walks independently. Then, for a while, I’ll basically walk by her side where my input may or may not be acknowledged (but I will still be a constant). Then, it’s time for her to lead her own way. I will always be there for her, and my prayer is that I can help her see the roses in the world despite the thorns.

My blessing for her is written out today. Tomorrow it is in my heart, and every day for the rest of my life I will pour blessings on this incredible child God has placed in our family. I want her safe in the knowledge that we are family. What a precious word to encompass those who are bonded by love, not always blood, but always love and commitment to grow and learn together—there’s always more to life to embrace, and it’s so much sweeter when you share it.

“May you always see the world with open eyes and open arms, embracing the beauty of God’s creation with the joy you have today. We pray for wisdom and discernment as we walk with you, that we may encourage and promote a desire to continually learn and grow in God’s love.”