Posts Tagged ‘believe’

Believe in Yourself, Ladies!

Posted: May 30, 2011 in Mama Says Namaste
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“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”  ~Marianne Clements

Question 1:   Do you believe in yourself?  (Like really BELIEVE in yourself?)

Yep, I do.  I believe I have power.  So much power, that if I don’t purposefully use it for good, it automatically will have a negative effect on the world.  It’s a scary thought.  Think about the nay-sayers, the woe-is-me-ers (yep, it’s a new word), the doubters…and think about how much, when you are uncertain, these people have the power to control you. To bring you to their level.
When you are unsure, your mind can be crippled with fear.  You are afraid of an answer you don’t want, and your mind subconsciously goes to whatever negative thought it is, and all of a sudden, one seemingly innocent comment of “we don’t need that dessert” becomes a hard blow to your low self-esteem and what you heard was “good lord, you have enough fat on those hips to live off of for a while.”  Man, that’s all in your head, however one sentence from another catapulted it to become your reality.  Make sense? 

They(everyone else) apparently has the power to bash your self confidence.  You have the power to hang on to that to a point that it rips you up inside.  I’m not just talking about looks here, I’m talking about everything.  I’m talking about the fact that whatever I believe will become my reality.
We’re women.  What is the first thing we stop believing?

I’m beautiful.

When was the last time you told yourself that?  That old saying that “love is blind?”  Sometimes we forget that we can decide to love ourselves every day…to carry over that “love is blind” mentality not just to our significant others, but to ourselves.  Reverse roles. For all you mothers out there with stretchy skin that resembles something closer to jello than the majestic muscles that are just begging to break through the surface…right?

Imagine your beloved husband carrying the weight of each precious developing child – imagine his body being stretched out and sagging…all due to the strains of creating a child formed by your love. Would you look at him critically? When he tries his best but that six-pack is a little more like a one pack…what is most important? I know guys are the visual creatures, but I tell you, to negate your husband’s love for you just as you are can be a blow to him. And my thoughts are that you would kiss every spot on his imperfect body and tell him what you love most. I’m saying this all for me, as I’ve been running and running, trying to regain my twenty-year-old body that is fading into a thirty-year-old body, and cringing when I look in the mirror and those last few pounds seem to be glaring at me. I’m not getting in a bikini for a long time. But my husband loves me and all my imperfections. They may be my “war wounds” from childbearing, and I will continually work on it, but I have more important things to obsess over-like enjoying the moments when I am the object of my number one love’s desire-he’s looking at all that is ME, not the tiny bits of my imperfection. I can’t point out any imperfection in what I see in him, so why am I obsessing over him doing anything less for me?

Question 2:  Why? (or Why not)
You see, I’m a mom now.  The years in high school and college where I tested my “power” by controlling what I ate, being awful to my body, neglecting my heart and running to the opposite sex to give me validation…this is all in the past.  Because now I have two beautiful girls looking at me. This is a biggie-my children. They are too young now to be swept up in the objectifying culture. I know no matter how I fight it, they’ll get hit with it at some point in their lives. But I’ll be damned if they are going to get a negative self image in our home! They are looking at me and watching me-they watch me get dressed, put on makeup, do my hair…they sense stress, frustration, and they want to mirror it. From the day my oldest followed me in the bathroom and asked to wear makeup, we started talking about what really makes people beautiful. On Easter Sunday we were in the car and she was playing with her pretend makeup she got as a birthday gift, and she was wiping it on her face. I asked her what she was doing and she said “washing it off.” I asked what makes her beautiful and she looked at me, smiled, and said “my heart.”

Your children are watching you and copying you-they are looking to you for what is important, and to see what confidence is. I want my girls to be proud of their bodies-to work to make themselves beautiful from the inside out-no matter how hard you push exercise, fix your makeup and hair and wear sexy clothes, what radiates most is what is beneath the surface-love and RESPECT for the child of God that you are and confidence that God embraces every imperfection in you so you can walk proud and honor your Creator…this is what I want my girls to see. Dressing up needs to be fun, not agonizing and a testament to my identity.

I used the focus of beauty for this…I could go off on a soapbox about smarts, about compassion, about significance…but I just so happened to have just recently gone off on a soapbox about this in a blog where a wonderful lady lamented over her ugly body and why she would never be what she used to be.

Power. 
Believing in yourself. 

The quote above…where you limit your power, you hold back and you hesitate.  You question your inadequacies and you are afraid every impact from the world is a tribute to how little you are.  But you aren’t.

“You are powerful beyond measure.” 

You are the first step in changing the world.  If you don’t believe in you, how can anyone else?  If you want to change the world, you have to start within.  You must “be the change you wish to see in the world” (Ghandi).  You have to have faith that you do have the power.  You are significant.  And one person has the power of the ripple effect to impact the world.  And you are that one person.

“When I was young and free and my imagination had no limits I dreamed of changing the world. As I grew older and wiser I discovered the world would not change, so I shortened my sights somewhat and decided to change only my country. Bu it too seemed immovable. As I grew into my twilight years, in one last desperate attempt, I settled for changing only my family, those closest to me. But alas they would have none of it. And now as I lie on my deathbed I suddenly realized: If I had only changed myself first, then by example I would have changed my family. From their inspiration and encouragement I would have been able to better my country and, who knows, maybe even change the world.”
Inscribed words on the tomb of an Anglican Bishop (1100 A.D) in Westminster Abbey

(and if you do believe in yourself and also want to get something pretty and girly just to bask in your awesomeness, my friend Rachel has a kickin’ etsy shop called LoveIsRisingthat has great finds, including pre-ordering some fun new shirts – proceeds go to help them adopt!)

We Believe…In One Another, This Family, This HOME

Posted: May 25, 2011 in Mama Says Namaste
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>This is it.  My last post of our Family Creed.   The final summary says “We Believe…in one another, this family, this home.”  Ahhh, home.   What does that mean to you?  The cliche “home is where the heart is” resonates pretty strongly with me.  I see elaborate houses and tiny apartments, and yet when I go home, it’s not to a place, but to the people.  My husband is home to me.  My children are hometo me.  They are:

  • My calm – in the midst of a stormy life
  • My laughter – when life throws a curve ball
  • My comfort – because sometimes life isn’t comfy and I want my “security blanket”
  • My challenge – to learn and grow with the ever changing beings around me
  • My strength – when I question who or where I am
  • My inspiration – on discovering the beauty around me
  • My motivation – to press on and “change the world”
  • My peace – this feels right.  this is what family is all about
  • My belief – that there is good in this world and the God put it in each of us
  • My love – my overwhelming love for them that reminds me every day that life is worth living

My husband and  my children are my home and so much more.  I believe in what we have here, and I hope you can find home in your own life, too!

We Believe…In the Power of Forgiveness to Heal, and the Power of Love to Carry Through

Posted: May 15, 2011 in Mama Says Namaste
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If you’re new here, the last five posts have been addressing each line of our Family Creed.   Only two more to go, and each one is so powerful to me!  For today, the creed is “We Believe…in the power of forgiveness to heal, and the power of love to carry through.”

This is a perfect one to address considering the podcast we just did last week on the ConnieAndSheila Talk Podcast.  Based on the previous blogpost here, we were asked on the show to address the topic “I Am So Unique“.  Not only does this podcast really hit on the power of love and acceptance, but also on how the uniqueness in each of us strengthens all of us, like I’ve stated before.

During one of their previous podcasts, they interviewed my brother and sister-in-love, Jared and Ilea Angaza.  Their podcast was on “Living without Electricity…but Lots of Energy“.  Each week Connie and Sheila start it off with powerful quotes, and the one that really hit me in this interview was:

“Forgiving is not forgetting; it’s actually remembering – – remembering and not using your right to hit back. It’s a second chance for a new beginning. And the remembering part is particularly important. Especially if you don’t want to repeat what happened.”
~ Desmond Tutu

Wow–how incredible.  When we talk about the power of forgiveness to heal, we’re not saying you have to forget it, or act like it doesn’t hurt.  Remember it, address the pain and/or anger, and then take the next step: heal.  When I was in college I studied The Work by Byron Katie.  If you’ve never seen this, check out the process at the link above–it’s free.   It really hit home for me – we’ve all been hurt by someone, and sometimes the hurt is so strong we come to identify the person by this one action.  We let it brew and fester and become a sore spot, or we write off the feeling completely and don’t pay attention to the person or the pain…thus potentially missing out on an important lesson or relationship.

I ask that you listen to the podcast “I Am So Unique” for a few reasons.  First, you’ll get the back story on Nathan and me and this wonderful thing we call our life.  Second, we talk about forgiveness and grace, and lastly, we address the topic of Love in a controversial why by talking about Rob Bell’s newest book, Love Wins. (I’ve got to warn you…there were a few tech glitches and you’ll hit some dead spots in the podcast.  Bear with it–we pick it back up.  Just think of them as “moments of reflection” times!”)

Everyone who reads this has their own perspective on life.  We each bring our own beliefs and opinions, and I’m not asking you to think like me.  I am, however, challenging all of you to just love first.  I’m pretty sure that comes before judgement everywhere but in the alphabet.  At least I hope so.  My final thoughts…this world is big and beautiful – we have the chance to experience our closest understanding of heaven on this earth merely by embracing these two powers–forgiving and loving first.

What do you think? 

We Believe…In Celebrating Together…our Heritage…

Posted: February 18, 2011 in Mama Says Namaste
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Line #3 of our Family Creed is “We believe in celebrating together–our faith, our heritage, our traditions.”
This is such a complex line that it’s too much for one blog.  I started writing and saw that I would never make it past the first comma without the need for another blog.  So, line #3 is divided even more, down to the key points–Faith, Heritage, and Tradition.

Celebrating our heritage comes through in so many ways–we are who we somewhat because of where we come from.  Although our past doesn’t define us, our perspective of the world can largely be shaped by the faith, heritage and traditions we choose to hold on to.

We have a rich heritage that includes Amish, Native Americans, and confederate soldiers.  My grandparents on my father’s side were raised Amish–horses and buggies, no electricity, thirteen and sixteen children, the whole caboodle.  My mother’s side of the family brought the Welsh and the Native Americans…the story goes that an Englishman came and swept a Native American squaw off her feet and they lived happily ever after. We still carry the olive skin and dark hair and eyes from this branch of the family tree.

My husband’s history is the deep South.  His grandmother can trace their descendants back to the Mayflower.  There are colonels and belles and even Thomas Edison in his family tree.  His relatives had a love for education and nature, and there are many foresters and naturalists in his family tree.   On his father’s side, there is a hard work ethic that came from starting from nothing and creating a family, and although the history isn’t as known on this side, the heritage they’ve passed down is still just as rich.

So what does this heritage imply for our children?  My husband brings a love of history and a passion for the South…not the “redneck” stereotype, but the true Southern gentleman.  He shares with his children all of the names of the native Southern plants; what they are, what they do, how you can survive off the wilderness…  His grandfathers taught him the importance of hard work and doing things right so that working, in my husband’s mind, is second nature.  He brings work and play together as he truly enjoys what he does, whether it’s his work with 48 Days or playing “Mr. Fix-it” around the house.  His parents fostered his imagination in a way where I am continually amazed by his creativity and the amazing things he comes up with–his time on the floor with our girls in creative play is incredible to watch.

The greatest thing from my heritage is from my Amish grandparents…this was what we carried on the most, and made the greatest impact on our whole family.  My father’s parents taught us the “best of” the Amish, in my mind.  We learned how to do things from scratch…sew, bake, grow a garden and take it from a seed to canning, applesauce, or a fresh rhubarb crisp.  I learned about farming on my uncle’s farm, and learned about flowers from following my grandpa around.  Grandma taught me how to make a perfect stitch, and that if it’s not done right, it’s not done at all.

My grandparents instilled a heritage that, although they chose to leave the Amish ways when they married, the core values and ethics flowed over to their children, their children’s children, and now on to their great-grandchildren.  I could go on and on about the people they were and the impression the made on our whole family.  They welcomed my mother, a naive “worldly” fashion model, and embraced her as one of their own…and in doing so exemplified the love and openness I admire so much as a reflection of the faith we celebrate as well.  My grandmother made such an impact on me I named my daughter after her–not only are we passing on the heritage of our family, we are passing on the family names.  (My paternal grandparents’ engagement picture)

Both of our girls are named after our grandmothers–three grandmas honored, and eight legacies in that generation that we have to thank for the heritage we know now.  We celebrate the history that is in our childhood hearts–the elements of our past and our ancestor’s past that has been stored in our souls and passed down to each generation.  We remember and relish certain things from childhood that become etched in our memory as important…and then we pass it on to our own children.

A Princeton definition of heritage is “practices that are handed down from the past by tradition”…  The practices and stories I learned from my grandparents and my husband did from his have created the crucial foundation for our own definition of family.  We are blessed to have our heritage, and the next post will go further into the traditions we’ve brought into our own home because of it.

What is your heritage?  How do you pass that down in your family?