Archive for July, 2011

Vintage Ads and Thoughtful Reflections

Posted: July 27, 2011 in Mama Says Namaste
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On a lighter note than last week’s heavy humble pie, I just have to share some vintage ads my wonderful mother passed along to me.

Uh, yeah.  Famous last words.  In my household, my dear Papa Gray happens to be a much better cook than I am, much to my dismay (and also delight – yum!)

Seriously? God forbid we do something for us…my feminist muscles are starting to twitch….

Where is the picture of the massage? The new clothes? A stinkin’ book that’s fun??

News flash – guys can be sexy when they get off the stinkin couch, too.

Only if it comes with a coupon that says “hubby will use this every single week to keep the floors clean so you don’t have to.”  Yes, this would make me happier!

Okay, that’s it.  Be the you he likes?  Really?  What about be the me I like?  What about me? What about my needs? 

I’M THE ONE WITH THE PMS!!

Whew.  Okay.  Moving on to pathetically UN-politically correct ads…

Wow.  You just have to laugh.  We actually thought calling kids “chubbies” was PC.  So sweet, that little chubby girl.  Somehow doesn’t sound too endearing.  Then again, what does when you’re referencing weight?

I’m pretty sure that Ovaltine isn’t the cause of homosexuality.  Could be wrong, but then again, I have had Ovaltine, and I’m still straight.

I’m kind of thinking this could be taken the wrong way in this day and age…

And…the clueless…

Some day, there will be crazy machines called iPads that impersonate beer that you can shake and pour electronically!  (Although they still have yet to invent how beer could flow out of them.  I know there is a market for that)

Blow that in my face, I’ll punch your lights out.

Ah, yes – the world’s favorite babysitter.  Welcome to the original reason for people to go into “screensaver mode.”

Really.  Really?  This just fascinates me.

Last but not least, my favorite:

I guess I can debate the whole drinking while pregnant thing…but to actually use that as a marketing slant because it benefits baby?  Wow.  Gotta find me some Blatz.

Now…these ads, as far as I know, were real ads.  Which goes to show you how great the media is.  I’ve been watching a lot of crazy documentaries lately…things like Food Inc,  Collapse and Tapped… and they definitely make me think.  It’s not to say I believe everything I watch (after all, isn’t it still all media?) but I think it’s clear that media doesn’t always have our best interests at heart.  Just because we’re told something is right, the way things are, good, etc…is it really?

How much of your life is affected by ads?  By TV? Movies? News?  Are you looking at the whole picture?  

Sometimes I wonder, in our age of information, if we can’t always find something that will support the belief we want to hold. 

What do you think?

Quintessential Quote: Papa Gray

Posted: July 23, 2011 in Quintessential Quotations
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“Formal education will make you a living; self-education will make you a fortune.”

~Jim Rohn

One of my more impacting memories of school was my 6th grade graduation. Everyone, kids and parents alike, had nervous anticipation of the next step into Junior High. The Principal of my modest public school, who was the self appointed key note speaker for our graduation, began to read off a list of names, all of which were my close friends. I nervously awaited my name to be called so I could proudly stand among my friends for the impending accolade. Fear and embarrassment hit me like a ton of bricks when my name was not called and all of my friends were proudly displayed as the “Future Leaders of America” because of a B average or better they had managed to maintain on their climb from Kindergarten to the annuls of 6th grade. I can still see the anger in my mother’s eyes as she watched her 12- year-old slump down in the chair and stare at the floor.

Looking back on this memory, it would be easy for me to have strong feelings of distaste for my shortsighted Principal or the system he was paid to uphold. But the important lesson in all of this, for me, is the system is the system which we all live in and are measured by, be that school, work, church, neighborhood, socioeconomic class, etc.. It is those that see the system for what it is and dare to break free of its limited hierarchical boundaries that end up doing great things. The status quo will make you a living, but when you feed your passion and God given talents, a fortune is poured that too few dare to taste.

Quintessential Quote – Mama Rose

Posted: July 23, 2011 in Quintessential Quotations
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The incredible Albert Einstein had so many quotes we could use in our journey with education – not only was he a genius, he was not successful in the traditional school system and oftentimes bucked the norm (even with the hairdo).  So I bring you a great one:

It is our American habit if we find the foundations of our educational

structure unsatisfactory to add another story or wing.

~ Albert Einstein

It made me wonder…with us choosing something other than the expected private or public school program for our kids, are we merely trying to establish another “religion” in the quest for perfect education?   I hope not.  I don’t want to just add a different wing to education – another concept/theory/revolution of “school.”  There are so many out there, it’s overwhelming – there is public, private, homeschool, unschooling, k12, or any assortment of them, there are many programs out there to fall into.

The goal of our site is not to create another branch.  It’s to show you the pros and cons, the perks and cool features, the frustrations and triumphs in the non-traditional, non-conformist way we are choosing to school our children.  We’re new at this – we don’t want to reinvent the wheel.  We want to find the stinkin wheel first!

I don’t want “American Habit” when it comes to much, and I don’t want to create a “my way is right” mentality.  I want an overall understanding that you can find good in most anything, and learning is not confined to one program.  So let’s journey together and explore many programs/concepts/schooling options and embrace the ones that work for our kids, period.

Humility Is….Parenting

Posted: July 20, 2011 in Mama Says Namaste
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Last night I had the pleasure of actually going out on a date with my husband. A real date, like leaving-children-at-home-and-being-adults time. So important in a marriage, and so, so hard to squeeze in with young kids, I know.

We went and saw a documentary at our local retro theater, the Belcourt. (Fascinating theater and story, by the way). Anyway, the movie we watched was Buck. Essentially about the man who is the real deal “Horse Whisperer” – the man who Robert Redford met and shadowed as he created the film.  It truly was a moving film about working with horses…but it hit me as something else.  It made me a little uncomfortable.  It….humbled me.

In the movie, Buck talks about his horribly abusive childhood.  He talks about the harsh realities he had in his life, and he talks about what we expect in a horse who doesn’t know how to calculate your next step.  The way he works with horses has all the patience and compassion you would show to a child.  I’ve read books which talk about investing and training your children, yet his words really touched me in a different way.

I blogged last year about the book “Train Up A Child.”  It really did change our lives and help us in our parenting.  But I can’t help but think I’m learning another lesson now, as I see how fine the line is between “training” and “controlling”.  My children are wild.  If they were horses, they’d be the buck-fifty stud stallions.  The amount of emotion and strong will is unbearable at times, and the battle of wills can go on for what seems like ages.  The older LadyBug Girl gets, the better (and more persistent) she can be about negotiating.  It’s so hard to pick your battles when sometimes you feel like all you’re doing is wading through a battlefield!

I adore my girls, I really do.  Yet do you feel me when I say there are things that make you cringe?  I quite possibly have the loudest children on the planet.  Literally.  We’re talking ear-piercingly loud.  Pretty consistently.  It’s not just screams of tantrums or when they’re hurt, it could just as much be shrieks of laughter or imaginative play.  They are just loud.  And sometimes, it builds up, louder and louder and LOUDER UNTIL I CAN’T HEAR MYSELF THINK.

I love my children.  I love being with them.  I want to be there for them and let them know they are my priority.  Yet I work from home.  I need to get work done sometimes.  Did you know that if you spend a full day hands-on playing with your kids, doing anything they want, and then sit down for five minutes on the computer to read an email, basically all your invested time is erased and they need you right now!!!!!!!!

Those little things build.  You start to ask yourself, “Am I a bad mama?”  You start to get down on yourself.  Then you start to get down on them, maybe because you’re feeling this way.  Your temper gets shorter and shorter and you find yourself frowning more.  You start to brace yourself first thing for the loudness and the chaos and why you wish they’d just be quiet for a change.

You rush to finish just one more email because they are bothering you and you can’t focus anyway, or you half-heartedly play because you know you won’t get it right anyway.   You feel like you’re failing.

Oh wait.  Not you.  Me.  I feel like this.  It’s me.  It’s my doing.  I’m humbled.  I look at where I am and somedays I don’t like what I see.

I see lack of patience with my girls.  I see lack of discipline with balancing work and family.  I see tempers rising and my anger getting the best of me versus showing them love and grace.  Some days, I try to yell louder in order to be heard, when what they need is for me to talk softer and pull them closer.  Some days, they need me to play the day away or physically get out of the house so they don’t see their mama right next to them but distant with work.

Some days, I get it right.  Really, I do.  I know that when I think I’m a bad mama, typically I am – “We become what we think about.”  I know that when I get down on myself, I tend to get down on them as well.  We all have our bad days.  Sometimes, though, watching a simple documentary on a horse is what it takes for me to step back and reflect, and renew.  Renew the passion of having a family, loving on my girls, taking them in and embracing their uniqueness, recharging with my husband, and trying this parenting thing once again.

We all stumble, but it doesn’t mean we can’t get back up.  Today, I picked myself up, and my beautiful girls were ready and waiting for me with open arms, and I remember what “Mama Says Namaste” is all about.

Have you had any humbling moments lately?

What is a “Teacher?” – Papa Gray

Posted: July 17, 2011 in Family Life Learning, What Qualifies You as a Teacher?
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As a parent, especially one that takes your child’s education seriously, you have to
ask yourself…”what will my contribution be to my child’s education?” Perhaps a more fundamentally important question is defining what kind of a teacher you are.

Knowing your strengths and weakness is critical in determining how you will instill
your all-knowing, all-encompassing, and always-right omnipresent knowledge of the world on to your little ones.

I think we fall into one of four categories in this arena:

The Boss: This matter of fact parent won’t stand for any funny business. When
addressing a topic of interest, class clowns beware! This is a fact finding maniac
who wants 100% of the pupils’ attention and will stand for nothing less. With a
detailed blue print on how everything works in this world, this child will be instilled
with the knowledge of the right way to do anything!

The Enthusiast: This minivan driving party of excitement is the proud owner of the house EVERY kid wants to be invited to for a sleep over. There is no law but this: Have tons of fun mixed with no regrets! (Preferably shaken not stirred) With an open road to the wide-open world, the experience drives right over the details, as parent and child flutter from one spot to another, soaking in the world as they go.

The Sweet Heart: This lovable teddy bear of a parent will hug and kiss all over those sweet little children, going out of their way to make every experience a memorable one. “Yes, Ma’am” and “No, Sir” are standard protocol to enter the exciting world of discovery. With an “after you” attitude, this parents tiptoes through this world experience with their child, hoping they didn’t leave a mess behind that someone else might have to clean up.

The Bookworm: This walking instruction manual will have a firm grip on the who, what, when, where, and why before ever taking that first step. With a need to know attitude, this parent dives in the deep end of the education pool, leaving nothing to chance. This is a wild world that need to be understood, defined, quantified, and then re-checked to ensure validity. With a flutter of manuals and maps, this parent teaching will have the facts checked, double checked, and triple checked, and then it will be time to learn.

No matter where you fall in this ramshackle list, know that there is no right or wrong way to teach your kids. Understanding yourself and your kids is the fundamentals of connection, and that is where the learning really begins to pop!

What is a Teacher? – Mama Rose

Posted: July 17, 2011 in Family Life Learning, What Qualifies You as a Teacher?
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What really qualifies someone as a teacher?  In my recent post on Do Facts = Education, I talked about how just knowing the information doesn’t make you wise in a subject.  So…

This is the sign for "teach" - shake your hands forward twice and you are teaching - yay!

  • Do you have to have a college degree to teach?
  • Is there a certain age that qualifies you as a “teacher?”
  • What makes you an “expert”?

I’ve got all kinds of questions, and, as you’ll get to know more about me in these posts, you’ll find out that I always, always, have an opinion. (Actually, if you have your own question for us, you can ask us here.)

Anyway, the point of even asking what makes a teacher essentially boils down to our crazy fear of actually having to “teach” our children.  Why do we have to define “teacher?”  Because we’re ridiculous.  Because we need the black and white answer that yes, we can teach because we’re “qualified.”

Being a teacher doesn’t mean you have to know all of the curriculum on the market, how to find E=MC2, or that are are up to date on licensing requirements with your education degree.  Quite honestly, everyone is a teacher in their own right.  Unfortunately, that means that even when you aren’t meaning to teach something, (ie the dreaded swear word your child overhears you saying), you’re still making an impression.

I could go round and round here.  We’re always teaching, all the time.  Our kids are looking at us on how to cope with life in general.  How do they react when they’re angry?  Big hint will be however I act when I blow my steam.  How do they comfort, how do they handle obstacles, how do they treat others?  They are looking at the examples we set–we are parents; we are role models.  Like it or not, we are teachers.

To take it to the educational level, where not only are we teachers in the parenting realm, but people expect us to actually “play” teacher with our kids, I think there are a few great qualities for being an effective one – both in life in general and in learning things like ABCs and 123s.

Make it fun:  To many times I see people who dread work – homework, classwork, work as in a J-O-B…it’s the “have to do” versus the “want to do.” My father’s favorite quote by James Michener says “The master in the art of living makes little distinction between his work and his play, his labor and his leisure, his mind and his body, his information and his recreation, his love and his religion.  He hardly knows which is which.  He simply pursues his vision of excellence at whatever he does, leaving others to decide whether he is working or playing.  To him, he’s always doing both.”  Don’t make it drudgery – learning is fun – figure out how to make it that way for both of you!

Let them make their own lines sometimes:  My oldest is notorious for this.  When I gave her this project, the goal was to go from the letter A to the letter Z.  She did it, but she had fun with it.  Sometimes you need to let it go.  We tend to get stuck on expectations for how things should be (that’s a whole blog post in and of itself) and sometimes just because we think you need to do it one way doesn’t mean there aren’t other ways to get the same result.  When you are teaching a child, you want them to learn so it sticks.  If your child start going in a direction you don’t see, but they are having fun and they are picking up the ultimate goal, let them to it!

Go with the flow: Take cues from the kids.  Going along the same lines as the point above, make sure they are receptive to learning the task at that moment.  If they are tired, cranky, hungry, sick, stressed, etc., it may become a battle you don’t want to fight because you both end up losing.  Sometimes, letting the lesson flow at the time/pace they are most receptive to works best.

Let them lead: I’m definitely leaning toward more child-led teaching – if they are interested enough to ask, they are more open to learning about it.  Tonight at dinner, the question was “why is it called an ‘ear’ of corn?” She was curious and it became a perfect time for a lesson on corn – how it grows, what is good about it, etc.  We had fun and she learned something new.

So being a teacher ultimately, to me, means being in tune with the fact that you always have the opportunity to teach something.  We are all teachers, so be aware of it and know that either way, they are picking up on what you do, so look for ways to intentionally make it something you want them to learn!

Do Facts = Education?

Posted: July 13, 2011 in Mama Says Namaste, What does "Education" Look Like?
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It’s official.  My wonderful hubby (dubbed Papa Gray) and I (now Mama Rose) are embarking on a new adventure together – a crazy adventure into the world of being our children’s teachers.  (My first thought is geesh, aren’t we that already?)  However, what I’m talking about specifically is that we are publicly broadcasting to the world our journey with non-traditional schooling.  I’m hesitant to call it homeschooling yet, because it may not follow the homeschooling model.  I’m a fan of the unschooling method, and I’m checking out a few other avenues as well.    You can follow our progress on our new site, www.FamilyLifeLearners.com.

In this post, my personal rants blog, I want to talk about a certain quote I came across:

It is possible to store the mind with a million facts and still be entirely uneducated.

~ Alec Bourne

Wow – of course there is a lot of weight in this quote to argue against the traditional school model in our US culture, but I want to take it outside of that realm and have it address us all.   I know different personality styles come to play, but some people thrive on facts and figures.  Others are “education junkies” and take course after course or read millions of books…all for the sake of learning.

But… does just knowing the words and facts create a wise mind?  Oh no, my friend.  It takes so much more.  It takes bringing in the lesson to your soul, formulating them in your mind, digesting the input and deciding what to glean from it, enforcing it in your heart, and intentionally applying it to your life.  Many people learn, but unfortunately, not everyone is truly teachable.  A teachable moment is identified as when the timing is right…yet I think it goes deeper to really be about when the mind/heart is open to embrace a lesson beyond just the facts and/or words. 

What do you think?  Does knowing the facts make you wise?  What’s your definition?

MamaRose Shares Her Story

Posted: July 12, 2011 in Family Life Learning, What does "Education" Look Like?
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Well, well, well.  One week into a new site and I get the opportunity to do an hour-long video interview with The Homeschool Netcast Network!  Oh so coincidentally, Gerald interviewed my father, Dan Miller, the week before, so he got the perspective of a “retired” homeschool dad, so his goal was to interview me as a homeschool-ee.  However, little did he know at the time that I was embarking on a whole new endeavor with this site!

Here is the video in its entirety.  I hope it sheds some light on where we came from and what the heck we’re thinking now.  I love that Gerald asked me some hard questions not only about how/why I want to teach my kids, but threw the words the naysayers are whispering about us not knowing what we’re doing.  I love it – questions and challenges?  BRING ‘EM ON! 

And yes, you get to see Papa Gray make his grand debut by crawling in at the side around 28 minutes in.  Yes, I said crawling. Seriously – you have to watch it.

Finally, check out the “Free Stuff” page on his site.  I haven’t made it to all the links yet, but it looks like I’ll have plenty of info to get started.  Let me know what you think!

What is Education? Papa Gray

Posted: July 6, 2011 in What does "Education" Look Like?
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Every decision we make as parents ultimately affects our kids.  Knowledge of this fact will either cripple you in fear or energize you to action.   Either way, our kids are a direct reflection of us and those around us.  To add to this monumental task, Mama Rose and I have decided to home-school our kids.

Now I know what many of you are thinking…it’s the same thing I used to think when someone uttered that conservative word dripping in stereotypes.   Visions of my children writing on hand-held chalkboards and calling me “Papa” flash in my head as I confidently protect them from the evils of the world.

I want to do the exact opposite! 

I want my kids to see, hear, touch, taste, smell, and experience all that this wide world has to offer.  

The idea of sending them to a monochromatic brick-o-block school house where they will be put on our traditional assembly line of knowledge makes me want to do more, give more, and be more for my kids education.

Too often (me being in this category) our kids exit this system, with a shiny new diploma that depreciates faster then a new car driving off the lot.

We/They are left feeling lost, alone, used, depressed, and then stuck…in whatever sticky job we fall into in the name of security.

Just think of the power of doing the exact opposite of what the “system” provides.  I want to be like Keating in Dead Poet Society, asking those questions to excite and educate my kids.

What would you do if you were given the steering wheel to your child’s education?  How would you direct, stretch, encourage, expose, protect, challenge, develop, etc.?

These are important questions that are not just for those who willing/able to immerse their kids in this world.  How well do we show the world to our kids in our down time, time off, or weekends?

What is Education? Mama Rose

Posted: July 6, 2011 in What does "Education" Look Like?
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What are we doing, you ask? Heck if we know! Seriously, this is the deal: We know what we don’t want for our children:

  • have a 40-hour work-week
  • require them to memorize merely for the sake of passing a test
  • force them to choose their friends based on the grade/age/zoning they are in
  • give them a black and white process of learning
  • create a resentment or aversion to education

I can’t knock any one educational system.  There are pros and cons to each.  It’s easy to point out the bad (public school kids can get lost in the crowd, private school is too expensive, homeschoolers are lost in the Little House on the Prairie).  However, I don’t want to lay the groundwork that we’re choosing a new path because everyone else is wrong.  This is exactly the message I’d be mortified for my kids to think. Let me tell you this – education is NOT the bad guy.

We are choosing a lifestyle that works for us.  I think, ultimately, we’d all like to have this for our kids.  This is what we do want for our girls:

  • an ability to think outside of the box
  • a desire to learn, always
  • understanding on how to find an answer for themselves
  • ease in interacting with people of all ages/creed/ability/ethnicity
  • confidence in who they are and who they aspire to be

For us, the path is clear.  We’re forging our own path.  We’re not sure where it’s going to take us, but we want to learn with our children.  We want to give them the tools to live up to everything they want to, and we want to teach them not merely for the sake of education, but because learning is fun and makes life sweeter. This is what it’s all about.  Welcome to our journey – we’ll all learn along the way!

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