Archive for February, 2011

Line #3 of our Family Creed is “We believe in celebrating together–our faith, our heritage, our traditions.”
This is such a complex line that it’s too much for one blog.  I started writing and saw that I would never make it past the first comma without the need for another blog.  So, line #3 is divided even more, down to the key points–Faith, Heritage, and Tradition.

Traditions are those valuable things that make us feel at home. Going back to faith, I feel that the times that I question the most are the times that I hold closer to those traditional aspects of religion–the recitation and traditions of the Eucharist, Holy Communion…  When kids are young and learning their boundaries, the consistency of a daily schedule–naptime, when we eat, etc–tend to be the “home” that balances them and keeps them from freaking out.  When we are older and we are stressed, we tend to go to the habits and traditions that give us that same feeling of peace…going for a run, baking bread, meditation…whatever makes you feel at peace.

I think traditions are like that.  A tradition becomes more than a one-time occurrence when it we associate it with a good feeling.  I like to think of that feeling as home.  It’s easy to pull out the traditions around the holidays…and if you think about it, that is the time we are typically surrounded by family, and reminiscing on the comforts we remembered as home when we were children.

During Christmas time when I was young, every year Mom would read the story of “Why Christmas Trees Aren’t Perfect.”  Every Mom and Dad would put the angel on the top of the tree last, together, and pose for a picture while they kiss…making for many near-tree-toppling experiences, but lots of fun and laughter.  Every Christmas Eve, my middle brother and I would camp out in Mom and Dad’s room, making pallets on the floor and straining to hear Santa (Dad’s, don’t “ho, ho, ho” when kids are still up–we know your voice).  We always baked the traditional pumpkin pie for a meal, and my famous apple pie.

We’ve added in some new traditions now in our family–Christmas Eve we open up a gift with the girls that is a family game–no batteries allowed.  The girls get new matching pajamas every year.  Christmas Eve is with my in-laws, and I make a pumpkin roll…and Christmas morning at our house is a big breakfast and everyone is invited, then down to my parent’s for the afternoon.  On Thanksgiving, we all write down the things we are most thankful for that year–once we have a few years to choose from, we’ll then pull out past ones to read about what was important from the year before.

We have more traditions beyond just holidays, though.  Almost every meal we eat as a family, and Ladybug Girl starts us off with her prayer song:

We tuck each girl in every night with their own special lullaby, followed by lots of hugs and kisses, and in the mornings the girls pile in our bed for some quality time before we get started for the day.  I’m sure this is a tradition that won’t be as popular when they are teenagers, but for now I cherish these special times with them.

I hope to add in more and more traditions not merely to the holidays, but in our daily life.  To me, these traditions create home, and I love starting new ones and remembering the old ones, even if it was merely for a season.

What are some traditions in your home?  During the holidays?  In your daily life?

Line #3 of our Family Creed is “We believe in celebrating together–our faith, our heritage, our traditions.”
This is such a complex line that it’s too much for one blog.  I started writing and saw that I would never make it past the first comma without the need for another blog.  So, line #3 is divided even more, down to the key points–Faith, Heritage, and Tradition.

Celebrating our heritage comes through in so many ways–we are who we somewhat because of where we come from.  Although our past doesn’t define us, our perspective of the world can largely be shaped by the faith, heritage and traditions we choose to hold on to.

We have a rich heritage that includes Amish, Native Americans, and confederate soldiers.  My grandparents on my father’s side were raised Amish–horses and buggies, no electricity, thirteen and sixteen children, the whole caboodle.  My mother’s side of the family brought the Welsh and the Native Americans…the story goes that an Englishman came and swept a Native American squaw off her feet and they lived happily ever after. We still carry the olive skin and dark hair and eyes from this branch of the family tree.

My husband’s history is the deep South.  His grandmother can trace their descendants back to the Mayflower.  There are colonels and belles and even Thomas Edison in his family tree.  His relatives had a love for education and nature, and there are many foresters and naturalists in his family tree.   On his father’s side, there is a hard work ethic that came from starting from nothing and creating a family, and although the history isn’t as known on this side, the heritage they’ve passed down is still just as rich.

So what does this heritage imply for our children?  My husband brings a love of history and a passion for the South…not the “redneck” stereotype, but the true Southern gentleman.  He shares with his children all of the names of the native Southern plants; what they are, what they do, how you can survive off the wilderness…  His grandfathers taught him the importance of hard work and doing things right so that working, in my husband’s mind, is second nature.  He brings work and play together as he truly enjoys what he does, whether it’s his work with 48 Days or playing “Mr. Fix-it” around the house.  His parents fostered his imagination in a way where I am continually amazed by his creativity and the amazing things he comes up with–his time on the floor with our girls in creative play is incredible to watch.

The greatest thing from my heritage is from my Amish grandparents…this was what we carried on the most, and made the greatest impact on our whole family.  My father’s parents taught us the “best of” the Amish, in my mind.  We learned how to do things from scratch…sew, bake, grow a garden and take it from a seed to canning, applesauce, or a fresh rhubarb crisp.  I learned about farming on my uncle’s farm, and learned about flowers from following my grandpa around.  Grandma taught me how to make a perfect stitch, and that if it’s not done right, it’s not done at all.

My grandparents instilled a heritage that, although they chose to leave the Amish ways when they married, the core values and ethics flowed over to their children, their children’s children, and now on to their great-grandchildren.  I could go on and on about the people they were and the impression the made on our whole family.  They welcomed my mother, a naive “worldly” fashion model, and embraced her as one of their own…and in doing so exemplified the love and openness I admire so much as a reflection of the faith we celebrate as well.  My grandmother made such an impact on me I named my daughter after her–not only are we passing on the heritage of our family, we are passing on the family names.  (My paternal grandparents’ engagement picture)

Both of our girls are named after our grandmothers–three grandmas honored, and eight legacies in that generation that we have to thank for the heritage we know now.  We celebrate the history that is in our childhood hearts–the elements of our past and our ancestor’s past that has been stored in our souls and passed down to each generation.  We remember and relish certain things from childhood that become etched in our memory as important…and then we pass it on to our own children.

A Princeton definition of heritage is “practices that are handed down from the past by tradition”…  The practices and stories I learned from my grandparents and my husband did from his have created the crucial foundation for our own definition of family.  We are blessed to have our heritage, and the next post will go further into the traditions we’ve brought into our own home because of it.

What is your heritage?  How do you pass that down in your family?

Line #3 of our Family Creed is “We believe in celebrating together–our faith, our heritage, our traditions.”
This is such a complex line that it’s too much for one blog.  I started writing and saw that I would never make it past the first comma without the need for another blog.  So, line #3 is divided even more, down to the key points–Faith, Heritage, and Tradition.

Faith is such a hot topic, and it tends to either bring great controversy or get tiptoed around.  Whenever “faith” is brought into play, it instantly takes one to the theological debate not only on “what do I believe,” but “what religion do I follow?”  Religion is that hairy issue that unfortunately tends to divide us all instead of unite us.  Typically the next question following the religion one is to explain why that religion (or denomination) is “right” and the rest is therefore “wrong.”  Nathan and I have spent a lot of time studying and questioning why we believe what we do.  I love to have theological debates with people of other viewpoints (as long as the goal is open discussion vs. converting to one mind).  I don’t believe we live in a black and white world, and although my faith in God has never faltered, I’ve definitely had times of questioning my affiliation with a specific denomination (or religion, for that matter) throughout my life.

I know I will never have all the answers on what I believe; the more I experience and mature in life, the more it’s going to reflect in my understanding of our Creator.  I’m pushing myself to stay challenged, however, I’m also satisfied in being “gray.”  In other words, I don’t need the why for everything I believe–and I definitely have a lot of open-ended viewpoints that don’t fall in line with where I live in the conservative buckle of the Bible Belt.   So how do I share my faith with my family, when I myself cringe at the fire-and-brimstone black and white mentality I see in many of the institutions around us?  (I say “institution” because my understanding of God’s “church” is the people, not the place…at least that’s what I hope it is!)

Now, before I go any further (and I’ll go ahead and put the disclaimer out here that discussions, I love…conversion missions to get me to “see the light” are another ballgame)…my belief in God is sound.  I want my children to know this, and it’s important in our marriage.  But the hows to pass it on are tough.  In the black and white understanding of a child, how do I celebrate the “gray” that I love?

It’s an amazing ride, being a parent, and I know my kids are going to question these things–like why do we celebrate our faith?  What do we believe (and ultimately, what do I believe)?  Why does God allow bad things?  Who is Jesus?  How is God three people?  Who, what, where, how, why, why, why?  My hope is that I can give my kids the reasons I celebrate what I believe–that we can grow together in our faith, and that I can instill in them a joy and desire to learn all they can in everything, especially their faith.  I want them to know faith like they know love in our home.  Faith, peace, hope, compassion, love…these encompass my viewpoint of God, and beyond my words, I hope our children celebrate it by the things that we do–the times we spend in nature “talking with the trees” and feeding the ducks, playing in the huge forsythia in the back that has become the “zookeeper’s house”, the “fairy house”, the “kitty-cat bed,” etc…

In one of Dad’s blogs, he talks about our daughter’s Talks with Jesus.  When we celebrate our faith with our children, it doesn’t mean I sit them down for a lesson in what to believe or think.  Although I want to be continually learning in our family, it’s more than just in a book–it’s celebrating our faith through all elements of our lives–not just in our minds, but in our hearts and in the emotions we go through.  It’s through play and work, joy and tears, confidence and lack thereof.  It means that we celebrate it all–together.  The questions, the awe, the beauty, the doubts, the peace in faith, etc.  And I know that it’s not a one-way street.  I’m eager to discover what my children will teach me when it comes to reminding me why celebrate faith.

 

On to line #2 of Our Family Creed: We Believe…we were brought together to support and care for one another.


When I asked Ladybug Girl who was on her team, she immediately said “my sister, Mommy and Daddy.”  When I asked her what she would do if Snugglepuppy fell down, she said she’d help her up.  When I asked her why we were brought together, she told me Jesus made us for each other.  It’s simple. We look out for each other. We lift each other up (sometimes literally).  We are a team.

My interview with a three-year-old doesn’t necessarily bring forth deep thoughts, but even at a young age she knows that we aren’t just a hierarchy; we are a full team.  It’s not just that Mommy is the nurturer and Daddy manages the bills…our kids see parents who work together to ensure that not only are the finances under control, but that our house, our home flows smoothly…we work together to cook meals, clean the house, play and interact with our children…and the kids do their part as well–helping clean up, wiping the table, and spending special time with each family member individually…

Every person is important to the family, and every person likes to feel needed.  Giving my children responsibility to think outside of themselves and consider the needs and desires of others is crucial to the family as a whole.  Snugglepuppy doesn’t just need a diaper changed…she needs the emotional support that only her big sister brings.  She thrives in watching her sister, and Ladybug Girl launches to her highest form when she has that admiring audience.

We all step up in this family.  We all have roles to play, and we all encourage each other and lift each other up.  When we see a passion in one of us, how can the rest of us support that? How can you encourage the things you each love? Security is not just in having physical fulfillment; it’s about that feeling of being a part of something bigger.  My girls are not out in this world alone–they have a whole family backing them, and we can descend like army ants to support one another in life.  I feel this does  more than just give them security in knowing we’re there for one another…it also creates confidence and wisdom–those hair-brained ideas we all come across in our lives aren’t for us to digest alone, but thrown out to the whole family to digest and act as a sounding board of loving support and accountability.  We as a group are the first set of peers and mentors we experience on a daily basis–so what are we doing every day to lift up, encourage, and motivate each other?

What are you doing in your family?  How do you define support for your daughter?  Your son?  Your spouse?